A long life's story
by Loui Loeve
Summary: 24 years of love for the same woman takes patience, so i guess vlad lost his ptience whenhe died... any who, you know "the happy ending" before the ACTUAL ending, so R&R folks!
1. Chapter I

**A/N: sowwy, but i''ve updated all of the first 3 chappies, so they don't sound soo clever for their age... so read and enjoy;oD**

**Chapter I**

He was a childhood friend. That's how it started, anyways. A young boy, with short dark hair, nearly black and usually clad in lively, albeit dark colours. His eyes were happy, always. Even when he had gotten himself bruised, he managed to look happy, but I knew that was only the behaviour around me. And somehow it bothered me, because I always wanted to help, and he would refuse it. Already then he had strength. He would always speak for his cause. It then became a kind of infatuation. Maybe just superficial at first, I don't know, but it became a whole lot more than that.. Back then, I didn't know it would turn out like this. But I doubt I would have chosen differently, no matter.

She called me her love-child, my mother. But she died. I still don't know how, or why, but I saw her coughing blood on the kitchen floor and I rushed to her but she held her hands in front of her and said,

"No, girl! Angel, you must run. Please! Leave-"

She got into a dreadful coughing fit, and after that, she tried to stabilise her breathing, impossible, and she drew her very last breath. She got the blankest of eyes. More blank than the ones my father possessed afterwards, when he started drinking. Then, probably just my imagination, her eyes looked bidding and happy, but also concealed a dreadful secret. And they told me that it would happen to me too, one day. A tone, as high pitched as a mountain top rang out through my mouth and tears started pouring down my cheeks. For a short moment, nothing. Then, my father came running through the house and into the kitchen, looking at me with an angered and confused expression. Then his eyes left me, to focus on the blood behind me, spreading in a pool around a body: his wife. He stared a few minutes, and his surprised face was gone: he knew what had happened. I felt a rage inside of me, so disgusted by the lack of tears from my father. He should cry, he should care! He turned to me and grabbed my arm and dragged me into my bedroom and threw me on the bed.

"Stay!" he said forcefully as he exited and a rustle came from the door, indicating he had locked it. I was too shocked to do anything else than cry. An hour later the house was bustling with footsteps and moans from people I could not see. My sorrow had turned into rage against my father. He had looked like he suffered no loss at all, but he looked burdened by the of having to bring a 7 year-old girl into adulthood by himself. He was not my father. Not really, I knew that. All he ever did around the house was embarrass his "wife" in front of her friends and his own. Letting his friends grab her if she was cook for his "dinner-party".

There were rustling at my door again and my dad came in and looked at me with bloodshot eyes. They were almost as blank as my mother's had been. He walked slowly up to my bed and I said,

"Daddy?"

He said nothing, just circled my bed and took of his shirt and started unbuttoning his pants and I didn't understand what he was doing. He got under the covers and pressed himself up against me, letting his fingers touch me and then explore me. My eyes got wide and I began pushing away his all-too playful fingers. I slapped him, though not hard enough, but he slapped back and I became unconscious. This, was my birthday present.

7 years passed and the abuse, continued. His ravishing rituals only happened once or twice a week, when he didn't have a lady friend. His touch and lust did not satisfy me or make me happy, they were not gentle but hard and ruff. Rage and disgust filled me every time he entered my locked room. Sometimes he would bring me food, other times he brought a horse whip, which was coloured in my crimson blood. I would feel sick and dizzy when he entered with it, smacking it lightly against his open palm. He'd force me to pleasure him, or, as he said, the whip would be repainted. I struggled against him, as usual, and the whip flew over my back, making me wince and cry in pain. I was lucky enough to fight him off, some of times, because he was to tired for a fight, but he would assault me in the midnight hour, too.

When he raped me, he made sure never to be drunk, afraid I might run from him. One night, as I was rehearsing "dinner time" conversations with a _delightful_ accent, he was drunk, when he came in side my room, but a woman followed, looking playful at first, but disgusted by the look of the room, and even more, when she saw me. My eyes got wide and I curled myself together.

"What is it you think you are doing?!" she screeched at my father.

"Don't worry, love... she'll be obedient," he said, looking from her to me with a hungry look.

I stared at the woman with fear in my eyes, and it would seem she understood what was about to happen. What _had_ happened.

"Oh, my God! You ca-... you can't do that!! She's... she's _just_ a child, Arman! What is _wrong_ with you?!" she continued.

He just stared at her. I knew that he was about to slap her to unconsciousness, and then rape me afterwards. I shuddered and felt nauseous, having puking spasms and cramps rush through my body. It got black before my eyes a few seconds and I hurled on the floor, getting an awful taste in my mouth.

He walked up to the stranger-woman, drew his hand back and slapped her across the face, making her fall on the floor, put out like a candle in the wind. He moved over to me and held me up: he was a big man, though the volume wasn't muscles. He smelt me, giving his consent, and then kissed me violently. I gasped in his kiss, and felt my stomach contract once again, giving my stomach-acid a step stone to my mouth. Luckily for him, he drew back before I hurled him in his mouth, instead puking him down his chest. He let go off me and dropped me unceremoniously on my bed, while trying to whiff off the acid-porridge on his front.

"_Leave me ALONE!!!_" I screamed in his face, leaning over the bed fence to puke again, but nothing came; my resources were used.

As soon as he had gotten the most smudge off his shirt he threw himself upon me again, unbuttoning his pants as fast as he could, what with the alcohol killing his brain cells. I kicked at him, trying to throw him off of me, but I wasn't all too successful on that point. Suddenly, a shadow came over me and my father, and the dullest of thuds smashed in on his empty scull. The woman from before had taken a piece of plank wood from my now-broken cabinet and whipped my father's head with it. She smiled faintly.

"Let's get out of here! Pack something, your clothes!" she whispered urgently. I pulled the few cloth bits I had, from the floor, stuffing them into a ripped-up bag, but for now, it had to do. Before we left my room, I saw my father's eyes flutter open and looking around in confusion. It was all twirling in my head, when I decided that running would be my only way away from here. I snatched a cloak from a chair and ran out, pulling the woman with me, but I just noticed a strong hand grabbing her and then the sound of a snatching bone. It ran cold down my back, and I was disgusted and nausea welled up again. My heart was in my mouth, the adrenalin and blood pumping in my body and temples, making me both deaf and blind. I felt myself stumble into people, who shouted to me to be more careful and all I did was run. Run away from it all. I finally stopped at a tall and huge wall, falling over a big brick stone. It was sticking out of the wall, as if it had been pushed out from the other side.

I pulled and pushed at the stone and finally got it out. As scrawny and little as I was, it was easy to get in. It was late and I could hardly keep myself awake. I didn't notice the garden I had entered. All I sensed was a bush nearby, in which I hid, to sleep. I only just noticed running footsteps and a slight pain in my side.

"Argh! What was-... MOTHER!" a young man shouted.

Something cosy, like pillows and blankets were wrapped around me. A slow breathe was taken right next to me, as though the thing or person who took it, was asleep. I opened my eyes, sat up and looked at the most unbelievable scenery: golden walls, silver framed pictures, furniture and a view over a grass green garden with coloured flowers. My first thought was that I had died and come to heaven. But the young man beside me, I noticed, proved otherwise. I looked at him in fear and disgust and fell out of the bed raising myself to look at him, watchfully. He had raven hair and pointed features of smiling and laughter. He had a smile on his face, and after searching myself for bruises on me and on the clothes, which wasn't mine, my face slit into one, just like it. His hair was grown down to the tip of his ears, he looked very agile and muscular. He was very handsome, and looked like he was the same age as me.

I turned my face and looked into a mirror just opposite the bed and saw: me. The smile looked nice and suitable and, without no reason, I started laughing. I hadn't done that, properly, for 7 years. The boy next to made a sound, somewhere between a grunt and a snort, which made me laugh even more, which made it sting in my stomach. I tried to pipe down, and ran to the window pressing my nose flat against the glass, looking out at people going around, doing chores. It was wonderful! How did I get here? I was broken from my small reverie by a semi-deep voice.

"Ah, hello."

**A/N:** **sorry I had to make it all over again, but you gotta admit: It was worth it! R&R, please don't flame!**


	2. Chapter II

**A/N: yes please read on**

**thanx to immortal, Barbayat and Dracula's-Poison, for reviewing... now, I present to you:**

**Chapter II**

I turned quickly around.

"H-hello... I'm sorry, but, uhm, am I dead, and-... and where...?" I said in a small, slightly hoarse, voice, which made him smile, though not in mockery.

"No, you are not dead. And you are in my castle... well, actually, it is my father's castle. I'm just his soon-to-be Holy Knight of the Vatican's Order-son,"he said smiling brightly at me, taking a step forward, me taking a step backwards and hitting the glass window, smiling embarrassed.

I looked up and remembered something about the Holy Knights. My mother had said they were of the kindest warriors to be known, though ruff and tactic in their proceedings, and because of that, they usually won their wars and battles. This boy's father must be a war hero! I stared at him in disbelief: a son of The Holy Knights stood before me. He had even slept next to me! Why he had slept next to me, I had no idea of. What was I even doing here? **How **did I get here? Thinking about it, this young man was superior to me and I suddenly felt very small. He looked questioning at me.

"Miss?" he said.

"Excuse me, _sir_, but how did I get here, and might I ask who **you** are?" I ask sweetly.

"Uh, please, call me Vladislaus, no make that Vlad," he said flashing a huge grin, as if he was being bold to give himself nicknames. "And the answer to how you got here," he continued, "was that I was playing involuntary hide-and-go-seek with my mother and her servants, till I, eh, _found_ you."

I looked mischievously at him; "What do you mean, _found_ me?"

"I, eh, fell over you in the garden bushes. I mean, one can hardly expect to find a girl lying about in bushes that one would choose to pass through in games of "play"," he said earnestly.

I couldn't help but smile and a kind of laughter shook my body, which gave a pain I hadn't noticed when I laughed before. I took myself to my right-side ribs.

"Oh, you shouldn't touch that. Saw your big bruise there. It was like your skin had had a change of heart about its colour," he said with a pitiful expression.

I nodded, looked down, but my face snatched up and stared incredulous at him at a realisation.

"Excuse me? You looked?! You've _seen_ me?!" I said, feeling the same kind of fear I had for my father, and drawing sideways away from him.

"Well they wouldn't let-," he started but I cut him shouting a big fat "WHAT?!" at him. He smiled an incredulous smile.

"Look, miss, I didn't see _anything_! Even if I _didn't_ have the courtesy to look away, I was thrown outside before they hardly lifted your shirt... Jesus, girl! I am _not_ a pervert!" he said defensively taking a few more steps towards me.

The same second, the door opened and a woman, in a simple Bordeaux velvet dress with a blue silk cord around the waste, entered. Her fringe was made into two small braids pulled into a long, auburn-coloured ponytail together with the rest of her hair. She had a slim beautiful face with deep green eyes, like a forest floor. I jumped back at the sound and nearly fell into Vladislaus' arms.

"Young sir, your mother and father requests your appearance at the breakfast table, together with the young lady, if she wishes to come?" she said with soft voice and smiled at us both. Her smile got wider as she took in the view before her: me struggling in Vladislaus' arms, trying not to fall over. When the scene was over I started pouring out apologies to him, for grabbing him on inappropriate places. I turned to ask who the woman was, personally, but found her doubled up, trying, and failing, to stop laughing.

"That sure was "handling" a boy," she roared with laughter, and tears of joy rolled down her cheeks. "nice _audible_ "ouh", too, _sir_," she continued and laughed on. Me and Vladislaus joined in on it and the room resound with laughter. I felt so happy. It felt like my mother had come to visit me, alive. When the laughs died out she asked,

"So, what about the breakfast, young man?"

He sent me a questioning expression and I looked down myself and declined. The servant smiled and said,

"Oh, yes, you must come, dear. I have just the dress for you, if you like to try it?"

I looked at the woman, puzzled, as if she was making fun of me, pushing my buttons for a good laugh. Why would anybody give me a dress, upon intrusion on their grounds? I had, of course never met, only heard of Transylvania's royal family, so I didn't have any knowledge of their kindness. I was about to say no again, but Vladislaus saw the hesitation in my expression.

"Well, would you do it for me, as your rescuer from the cold of the night? It is a rare treat to se my father home, and you must meet him, while you can," he said sweetly, with a charm that even the most rock hard wench could not resist. Even his mother's maid began to smile. I sighed.

"Yes please, miss," I said, feeling immensely stupid for having to talk this way. I had practised this talk for the day I might meet "decent" people, and lucky me. At my father, there wasn't need for talk, fancy words or accents. The most reappearing sounds that came was his lustful grunts and bottles of wine falling over on the floor. My expression changed to that of anger and disgust, and at the look on their confused expressions, I excused myself. The maid said she would leave shortly for the dress, from a place, which I did not know where was. She was back and sent Vladislaus away to the dinner table. As soon as the door closed, she went for me and said,

"Let's try this," and she pulled at the clothes I wore and I snatched away from her, looking at her warningly.

"Take it easy child, I am just going to help you undress and put on the dress," I did not want to push curfew and answer questions for my behaviour, so I bit my tongue, hoping she would not rake me like my father used to. She pulled my clothes of gently and put on the dress afterwards, which was a silver coloured one with golden-yellow cuffs, lace and bosom. She closed the back of the dress and asked, with a smile on her lips, if she should do something with my hair. I smiled and she took it as a 'yes'. My mother used to do my hair, sometimes crazy and sometimes fit for a Queen, and that the servant, whose name was Koloretta, did this, was a strong reminder of my mother. And that made me smile as she fixed my hair with a sideways clips that tied the outer layer of my hair on the back of my head, while the rest of the hair got a few braids knitted with blue silk ribbons. I turned around when she was done and said,

"Thank you," she had no idea how happy this little thing made me.

"Excuse me, Koloretta, but how long have I been sleeping?" I asked, trying not to push the good moment.

"You've been out cold for a fortnight," her reply came. "Now, get on and get out. You really should eat _something_," she said smiling.

I went out through the door, without Koloretta, and found that I had no idea of which way the dinning hall was, but then an arm snaked around my waste and I saw Vladislaus standing there with a gleam in his eyes, but I drew away from him, looking him daringly in his eyes. He looked confused about what to do, and offered me his arm, saying,

"May I?"

I looked from his eyes to his arm, and, watchfully, took it.

On the way to the dinning hall, and that was a long way, we talked, and acquainted with each other. I learned he was 15 years, soon to be 16, charming, intelligent and a very good entertainer, too. When ever his father was here, he'd go hunting, and he loved it. He usually never killed anything, but just enjoyed the thrill of having power, which didn't really concern me, back then. Eventually we got to the dinning hall, and I had him suspected to have taken several detours just to have the chance to talk with me.

He, nonchalantly, opened the door and led me in. It was just... an overwhelming sight. The place didn't look like a _simple _dinning hall, but a huge ballroom, which it probably was, too. I was so awed by the loft paintings of The 12 Archangels and fat, half naked cherubs, which made me smile and distracted me so much that I nearly bumped in to the table, if Vladislaus had not grabbed my upper arm before collision. He pulled out the chair and went all the way around the table greeting his parents, though his, now penetrating, eyes never left me, and I could still feel them burning on me, when I looked down into my plate. I greeted the Lordships, without having a clue of what to say to them. I was feeling the old fear kicking up on the sight of the Lord.

I eventually got the courage to ask the woman what I was doing here, why they had not just thrown me back outside the castle walls.

Valerious the Elder looked at his wife, waiting for her answer. Truth be told, he didn't know why I was even here either, though his warm expression showed I was more than welcome to be so. My father had often made such a face, too. Did _he_ mean it?

"Well, I, uhm,... You ask very direct questions, miss. But before I continue, might enquirer you name?" Vladislaus' mother asked.

"Yes, of course, m'lady-..." I started but the Lady Valerious told me to drop the official charts and call her Amadae, which made me soften up towards her, though Valerious was a different matter. He was a man. A grown man. Much the size of my father, too, though better built. His hair and beard was long and black, though shards of grey had started to stain his yet youthful look. He looked like a nice man, though a bit weathered.

"Amadae, Lord Valerious, Vladislaus, my name," I took a slight pause and noticed Vladislaus rolling his eyes, "is Cassandra," I said, taking a bite of buttered bread, eating it too slow to be allowed.

"Really?" Amadae said, lighting up, making her face look as young as a 20-year old, she looked ever-so beautiful. Her hair was dark brown, it was wavy, though sleek. It sparkled with a kind of natural blond and cobber stripes. Her brown eyes were happy and very intense. It was obvious that it was her eyes Vladislaus had inherited; Valerious' was grey and hard, though they still managed to look like they were happy, somehow. Her features were those of laughter in a good life. This observation, made me smile along with her.

"My Grandmother, on my mother's side's, name was also Cassandra, and she was very beloved," her face fell slightly at the memory, "She died a few months ago," I sent her a consoling and cheering smile.

"I'm sorry. She must have been very old, seeing as it was Your Grandmother? I lost my own mother about 7 years ago, but I can't remember anything about it," I lied.

"Oh, yes. 103 years. But, alas, it was her time, and she had long deserved the blissful peace the afterlife God gives to the true ones," she said, without the least trace of sorrow.

"Now, about you staying here... that is, if you _want_ to stay here?, Amadae asked.

I looked at her with incredulousness written all over my face. They _wanted_ me to stay?! I got all speechless and my eyes changed directions between Amadae, Vladislaus and the Lord Valerious.

"Casandra, of course I and _others_ will understand if you would rather have us help you find your way back home...?" Amadae said, eyeing the look on my face.

"Oh, no! I would be more than happy to stay. I have nothing to return home to," I replied.

"Then you are quite welcome to stay, Dear. Now, run off you two," she said smiling.


	3. Chapter III

**A/N: read, enjoy, review- GO!**

**Chapter III**

As Vladislaus led me out of the "dinning hall" and throughout the castle, to the wall-surrounded garden, I still felt my question unanswered, but thinking about it, it didn't matter to me the least bit. Maybe it was just because Amadae wanted a girl, and could perhaps not take the pain of giving birth again, or maybe she just couldn't have another child again.

"You know, it makes me wonder, too," Vladislaus said, as if he had just read my thoughts. "Maybe Koloretta knows something," he said, to no one in particular. He continued, "anyway, if you like, we could take a walk in the garden, maybe?" I nodded in reply. As walked, we were met by the happy faces of the servants, every time we went by them in the garden.

"Vladislaus, why did you sleep next to me? Or was it I who slept next to you?" I asked, a bit confused, as the question fluttered on the top of my mind.

"Well, we almost lost you. You bled a lot. In fact, the place were you have that bruise, you had tripped on a rather sharp stone and after that I, ehm, kicked it further open, when I fell over your body in the garden. I am sorry," he said. I didn't think the worst of him, even though he had hurt me. He was sorry.

"It's okay, but still, why did you sleep next to me?" I continued to ask. He looked at me like he wasn't used to get asked the same question twice. "Well, you didn't answer my question, _Vlad_," I insisted.

"I just sat by you all the time to make sure you were... alright," he said, his sight going past to a girl running towards us. He let go off my arm and walked towards her and she ran into his arms.

"Oh Vladislaus! I thought you'd left me! I haven't seen you for 2 weeks. Where have you been?" she said ecstatic. My brows raised when she didn't wait for an answer and threw herself on him, kissing him eagerly. I felt the fear i usually had for my father as they kissed before me, and fled, because et reminded me of the way he came onto me. Vlad almost looked like a victim.

I ran through the garden and sat myself by the wall behind some flower bushes, from which I ten minutes later, heard Vladislaus call my name. He slowly got nearer and nearer and I answered back. He came and sat beside me.

"Why did you leave?" he asked.

"I don't know. It didn't feel right being next to you two... k-kissing. Why did you ignore me being there?" I said, a little too hard, and wondered why said it; he looked like an assaulted victim.

He looked gingerly at me. "Cas, take it easy. I am not allowed to "date" outside wedding proclaimations. And it was just a flick. She sure did look good..." he said, but i sighed and got up, looking out from behind the bushes and trees, hiding us. He looked at me; I could feel it. i turned around with a slight annoyed expression, but was surprised by this grin that stuck so much to his face, that not even death could put a stopper in it. "_But_! Promise me you wont tell my parents? They wouldn't want to know, "he said, getting up as well.

"Why?" I asked, letting my hands fall to my sides.

"There is only weddings and wedding-rules in my family. The parents choose the bride or groom for their daughter or son, and with time, they must learn to love each other," he said matter-of-factly, while shrugging. he looked at me again, his face intwined in a smile.

"If you want, we could go visit the locals?" he said, changing the subject that was the sole of his own destiny.

"Are you allowed outside the walls?" I asked, jerking my head at the wall behind him.

He smiled secretively at me, but said nothing.

"So, how about it?" he asked, almost pleaded.

"Okay. But I'll have to change first. Meet me here again in ten minutes," I said, smiling and getting up.

15 minutes later I found myself helping Vladislaus escape paradise, and I was slightly wondering why I was eager to go outside to the place I hated. It was at the same brick I had trip over that night and it was still out of place. He pushed and then crawled into the hole, after having dug away some dirt and then got out, and I followed.

We went around the village, quickly finding kids to play with, which was a lot more fun than I would have expected. We were playing ball. We screamed at each other to get a hold on ourselves when we made a wrong pass or a very bad goal. Time seemed to pass by all too quickly and the moon and its night began laying pressure on the sun and its warm light, sending it down in the horizon. Vladislaus thought little about getting home: he would rather run around the village to see if he could get a glimpse of something his mother called "drunks", and on the note of that, I kept on insisting I wanted to go home.

"I promise to go home, _when_, and only _when_, I've seen one. Come on! They can't be _that_ bad?" he said grinning at me. 

"No, please, Vlad. I _really_ don't want to. _Please_!" I said, whimpering, and pulling him in the direction of the castle walls. He stopped to look at me.

"You ever met one?" he asked. I shrugged and looked away. He shouldn't hear any of it. No body should. "Come on, then," he continued, leading the way.

I swallowed and thought of my father. I wanted to swear never to lay eyes on him again. Even as young as I was, I wanted to make him suffer, though I would not want to look at him suffer or die: he could do that just as well on his own.

Vladislaus pulled at my cold hand with his warm one, and the touch made me feel strange; maybe it was just the reaction skin has when it's cold and gets heated up afterwards. Anyway, I followed his pull and we went about the village for a couple of minutes, until the sound of rolling bottles and smashing of glass reached our ears: we were here.

"God, this place smells," he said grinning slightly, pinching his nose.

"Yeah... we've got to go now, Vladislaus. Let's-"I stopped, seeing something I did not want to look at: recognizable bloodshot eyes staring into mine, 15 feet away; it was my father. He looked more dirty than ever, and I got the feeling it was his fault the place reeked with rotten meat and alcohol. I got chills and nausea welled up in me, and the well known fear came crawling back like a sick dog, and I embraced it without hesitation, as if I still were powerless against him. and he knew it: I could see it in his face.

"Cassandra? Is something wrong?" he asked. He saw my father, then. He grabbed my hand, staring maliciously at my father.

"Well, well, well," he whispered hoarsely while nodding. "If it isn't my sweet little daughter coming _home_ to her favourite person: her _dada_! HAHAHAHA..." he said howling with laughter, clouds of fouls smelling smoke billowing out of his mouth. He took a deep suck from his homemade cigar, and made disgusting and repulsive coughing noises, and I was slightly reminded of my mother's death. He started walking towards us, and Vladislaus said,

"Leave her alone. Don't touch her, or-" Vladislaus was cut off, and slung aside by my dad, who said,

"Get lost, boy! She's mine!" while making his way for me, but I was too terrified to hardly breathe. It was going to end because I had to let myself get talked into coming here! It was his fault! Why did Vladislaus lead med _here_?!

"Well, I sure have been missing you, girly," he said picking me up, and was about to lick my cheek, when a little glint of silver slid around his neck and stopped at the side of his face, making a deep crimson coloured opening in his cheek, making him howl in pain and dropping me. I backed as far away from him as possible looking terror struck at him, as he was trying, without luck, to throw off Vladislaus. My father staggered around with Vladislaus billowing about him like a cloak. The blade slid to my father's throat and stopped to rest there, and my father got perfectly still.

"Run, Cassandra, get out of here!" Vladislaus shouted. I couldn't get up, I just stared breathless at them both. My father started struggling again, but Vladislaus tightened the blade's resting place a bit, making him go still and silent once more.

"_Sir_, I find it "playing safely" if you let the little lady go, or else I might have to become a murderer," Vladislaus said through clenched teeth, tightening his grip even more, making a little trickle of blood run from my father's neck. He nodded, panting. Vladislaus jumped off his back and flashed the knife in front of him as a warning.

"I _told_ you, **_RUN_**!" he whispered as he pulled me from the ground, still eyeing my father. I got out of my horrified trance as I found out that my father had nearly got himself killed. I noticed that Vladislaus was sheathing his knife again, urging me to run along with him. I turned to run, but then it kind of blackened before my eyes and I snatched his knife and threw it at my father who was in mid-roar and running, when the sound died with a bubbling sound in his throat as he fell backwards, coughing up blood, landing less than 7 feet behind us. Vladislaus looked at me with big eyes and an incredulous and unbelievable expression across his face. He grabbed his knife out of my father's throat, before running past me, taking my hand and pulling me with him.

It felt like we had been running for hours, though the still-sunlight was there to tell the tale, and there had probably only gone a few minutes by, but the pumping adrenalin in our veins made us loose breath fast. He shoved me into the first dark and private niche we found. He then went back and forth miming soundless monologs with himself and smacking his forehead on more occasions. He then stopped and walked over to me and pushed me against the wall and said,

"WHAT is it that you _thought_ you were doing? You-... you _killed_ a man! Why did you ha-... why did you kill him?? Who was he to you, anyway?"

I had begun crying. "Nobody! NOBODY! He was nobody... I didn't mean to kill him, I didn't... I didn't mean... I'm sorry! This was not meant to happen... I didn't want... want to hit him.. just scare him off... I heard him coming... I-I-I could feel it... I am so very sorry... please forgive me Vladislaus...?" I sobbed into my hands as I leant against the wall and slid to the ground.

"N-nobody?! You killed a man, Cassandra!! That's murder!" he said, practically shouted in my face.

"Well, it's not like you were-... weren't _threatening_ him to the same... the same destiny, now were y-y-y-,"I replied, but was cut off.

"I would NEVER have done it! Are you crazy? _I am going to become a Knight of the Holy Order_! My father is one of the best hunters and patriots, ever. I am going to have a reputation to live up to," he said, pointing his index finger at me and then shaking his head.

"Don't make it about you, when it's not!" I screamed.

"No?" he said mockingly.

"It's not! You spoiled brat! It's not about YOU! It's about ME!" I said, regretting it the second it escaped my lips. He turned around quickly, crouched down and looked me in the face, exploring it: all he saw was tears, swelled and glazed eyes.

"About you?" he asked.

"No... nothing about me. Nothing. There's nothing..." I said croakily, shaking my head. A moment he looked at me very intense and leaned in, but he was just getting up.

"You can't tell anyone. _Anyone_ at all! Do you understand, nobody!" he said as I got up, too.

"Thank you," I said, looking on the ground.

"For what?" he asked, a little too hard and I cringed at the tone.

"For helping me instead of just leaving me. Thank you," I said again, still looking down.

"Argh, will you stop that? Come here," he said, stretching out a hand. I looked wearily at it before I took it and he pulled me into an embrace, letting me sob into his shoulder. It didn't feel false: he seemed to genuinely care. Maybe he was the only male I could trust? He pulled a little away and looked me in the face with pity and angst, and then he wiped away the last few tears. And then, very slowly, he leaned over me, as if in a trance and brushed his lips against mine. All the sorrow I had just experienced was all gone in that kiss. It was perfect. His lips parted and licked mine, seeking access, which I gave. The kiss was soft and fulfilling. Before pulling away he sucked on my lower lip, so gently it was like getting tickled by a feather, and I opened my eyes again to look at him. for a few moments we just stood there, looking at each other. He was the first to break the silence, though I was the first to break the stare.

"We should," he coughed when he realised how rusty his voice sounded, and continued, "We should get home, now," he said, smiling at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. We stepped outside of the niche and followed the wall around until we got to the pull-out brick. We went over to it, to push it in, and smiled, despite of the evening events, when our hands touched and when we fell forwards against the all, as the brick got in. He pushed me in first and he followed quickly, and closed the hole with the brick again. We silently tip-toed all the way up to our room.

Once there I got behind a screen and changed my clothes into those I had woken with this morning. As I got out, I saw him staring contempt at the "night suit" he was supposed to sleep in, and I started laughing, almost forgetting I had murdered a man who had made my life a living hell for 7 years. I hardly felt guilt. But I did feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I was broken from my thoughts as the door opened and Koloretta came in.

"Where have you been?" she whispered frantically. "The whole castle's been scared to death about you two being gone!" she continued.

"Prepare for a journey beyond your wildest dreams," he mused.

Koloretta may be very beautiful, but she had the most stern look on her face, which told Vladislaus that to tell Koloretta a direct lie when she was in this mood, was not good for business. He sighed.

"We got, uhm, attacked," he said, mumbling to the floor.

"Tell me. The whole story, kid, no lies," she said.

"I can't, Koloretta. I can't tell you the truth. I'm sorry. Not even if my father broke every single bone in my body, would I tell it. I simply can't," he said, swallowing.

"I am not the enemy," she looked at me with a smile, "Every thing for girl, huh?" she said.

"Please don't tell my father that we were out to play ball with the locals?" he asked.

She blooked sadly at him and left.

"What was that about? Everything for a girl?" I asked.

"Remember me talking about the parents _taking_ responsibility for getting their son or daughter marriage? And that they can't see _anyone_ before they are married, unless it improves the marriage?? She thought that about us," he said matter-of-factly.

"What? But we're not... Are we?" he turned around sharply at my words, looking at me, puzzled.

"Of course not," he said a little hesitant. "Let's get to bed. I might as well get some rest. My whipping begins tomorrow," he said, as he stripped down to his pants, which resembled shorts. His upper body was tanned and very muscular. A few minutes I was in a trance from looking at him.

"What do you mean, "whipping"," I asked, snapping out of it.

"I've been caught outside of the castle walls, and with a girl," he said and climbed into the bed. "That equals punishment," he said, getting ashen-faced.

"But he can't... he _can't_-," I said.

"You would be amazed of what he can do. Goodnight, Cassandra," he said, turning his back on me.

"But Vlad! That's rediculous! He doesn't have proof of any-" I started.

"He doesn't need to," he said, as if i was a 5-year old.

I climbed up as well and gave a faint 'Goodnight'. The complete silence in the room told me I was not the only one having a hard time falling asleep.


	4. Chapter IV

**A/N: thanks fer all tha lovely reviews! before you read this chappy, PLEASE read the story all over again, cuz i've made changes 'n'stuff so please! R&R!!**

**Chapter IV**

Sitting at the table the next morning was so tense, and the thought of sitting this close to this Valerious the Elder, was scaring me half to dead. His eyes were so cold and evil to look at, as they burnt holes in Vladislaus' face. Amadae did not speak, and she seemed as a very chatty person, but this morning was so tense, and the air in the room was so smothering that she did not dare speak. I got very uncomfortable by watching their silent battle, as though all was said over telepathy. I began fighting down my nausea again, as his stare switched from Vladislaus to me in a second and returned. I began to involuntarily shudder, as his look reminded me of my father's. He could wear that look so easily. Amadae noticed me, and put her teacup down and asked if I were well. Valerious mumbled something as he continued to stare at Vladislaus' face, though the glare was not returned. Vladislaus settled for sending apologetic and shameful looks back.

"I'm..." I fought it down again as I saw Valerious send me another cold quick glance, "I'm fine... thanks," I said. "May I leave, mistress Amadae?"

"Well, yes," she sent a glance down the table at her husband, "I will lead you back to your room, Cassandra," she said as she got up and walked to me. She pulled me out of the chair, eyeing Vladislaus and Valerious. Just as we got out and closed the door, shouting from within the hall started and sounds of chair's getting knocked over or scraping the floor loudly, flooded out. The sounds reminded me of my father, and as we walked a few steps away from the dinning hall door, I got as white as a sheet, and vomited on the floor, almost choking on it. I fell to my knees, staring at the pool of acid-porridge.

"Oh, good heavens child! I, oh!" she said in a high tone, as she scurried off to call for some servants to help me get to a bed. It was, once again blackening before my eyes, but before I dozed off to unconsciousness, I heard pieces of "conversation" from the dinning hall:

"...Have I not taught you well enough?! How dare you defy me!?" Valerious shouted. Foot steps were heard and a slapping noise filed out through the door to me. Then a body fell on the floor. More footsteps.

"Listen to me Vladislaus. This is your warning. You are MY son, and I will not have YOU RUIN my reputation. You know the rules. Koloretta told me, Vladislaus. You can receive proper punishment later this afternoon. Be at my study at 9 o'clock, am I making myself clear enough for you to understand?!" Valerious asked angrily. Seconds later he slammed the door open and found me, unconscious.

Later I woke up, having immense pain in my right-side ribs. Looking at it, my skin had still not want to go back to normal colours, and the wound was in bandage, which sported blood drops. I felt horrible. I was freezing, I felt like my stomach had be turned inside out and the dizziness that roamed me, was insufferable. I felt so weak, and being weak used to be my role at my father place. But he was dead now. I felt like throwing up again, and decided that I would stop thinking about the dead man. He was not linked to me, and never would that be his role in my life again. I felt annoyed, being so easily affected by him, and he was gone. His corpse was probably rotting on the street now, as ravens circle for a quick bite to eat; another disgusting thought. I just reached the wood bucket beside me in time, before my stomach's last holds flooded down from my mouth and lips in cascades. I took a towel next to me and wiped my face, and upon placing it back on the bed table, I saw a glass of water, which I sipped of until the taste of vomit perished. Then I lay back, and worried for Vladislaus. Maybe he already had got his punishment. Maybe I had slept for 2 days; maybe a week. Little did I care, as I once more dozed off.

When I woke up again, I found Vladislaus looking at me intensely, but smiled then, seeing that I was awake.

"Welcome back. I wish you'd stop doing that, Cass," he said.

"Doing what?" I asked a bit confused.

"Dozing off like that," he said. "I've come to tell you something," he continued, getting up from the bed, walking to the window and looking out. "I am leaving for Rome. My father insists that I should learn the basics in Rome, instead of here, as the original plan was. And you are to simply stay here." He turned around, expressionless.

I got slightly confused. "What do you mean? Why are you getting sent to... oh," I said, as it dawned on me.

"In fact, I am leaving today, so I just came to say goodbye," he said with a smile.

He walked over to me again, took my hand and kissed it. He then looked up at me, while nuzzling my hand. He stared into my eyes, almost consuming me. He let go of my hand and whispered 'Goodbye', as he left. A long time I stared after him. How long was a perfectly good question, though I wouldn't be able to answer it. Koloretta then came in with a bowl of soup in it. She sad on the bed and fed me with it. After that she left.

After that, a lot of years went by, though not without contact with Vladislaus. He wrote almost every fortnight, telling me that he had met a guy a little older than himself, whom he shared room with. His name was Gabriel Van Helsing. He was very tall of his age and good-hearted person. He had been in Rome for 3 years, and was in his eighteenth year of life. He had also decided to grow his hair, much to the annoyance of the monks there, but Gabriel had just thought it perfect for him to get a new look.

Vladislaus also sometimes sent gifts. The first I got was a silver ring with a blue opal shaped like a dragon eye. It was the least pompous one, but it was more special. I had noticed Vladislaus had worn it when he was here. I had sent it back and said that I was hardly worth of this ring, but he insisted and asked me to be the safe-keeper of it, till we met again. I accepted on that cause, and that it was beautiful. I sat studying it one day, and saw an inscription in it that I hadn't noticed when I got it the first time. It said: "For ever" which left me to smile.

He told a lot of about his missions, though I thought it sounded a lot like exaggeration, at first. The way he described his fights were supernatural, but the older he got, the more real his "stories" sounded. I still couldn't believe the monsters he described, when he started to lay out how it fully came to path on his missions. People started admiring him for his tactics and skills with a sword and diverse weapons. His leading was trustful, and going into battle with him was a great honour to soldiers. That's what people told him many times, he said.

Vladislaus had succeeded so well over the past seven years that his father had come to visit him bringing someone to see him: me. I was 21 years then. I had a hard time suppressing the happiness I felt towards Valerious and for going to visit him. He had become a kind man, after all. As we sat in the carriage, Amadae and I, I looked at the Vatican premises that all too slowly got nearer and nearer.

I sat smiling to my self: I was happy with myself for learning about fighting with a sword, and that I was able to keep that note out of the letters I wrote for him. I looked out of the window and I could se two men walking down the stairs in a conversation. The carriage door was opened, then, and we were led out. As I got out after Amadae, Vladislaus and the other man had come over to us.

Vladislaus' face was expressionless at first, but his eyes betray him, and his face slit into a broad grin, which he then directed to the man beside him.

Vladislaus had grown more handsome than he had been when we met last. His clothes were all black, his hair was longer and he seemed so... I couldn't describe it! The man next to him was handsome as well. He wore garments very unlike Vladislaus': a turtleneck, tight breeches, a trench-coat and a leather hat. He had a kind of haggard expression, deep brown eyes and light face features. His hair was brown, wavy and at shoulder length. He also wore a charming smile.

Vladislaus got his grin returned and stepped forward to take my hand in his and kissed it lightly. He pulled me close in a short embrace where he kissed my cheek without anyone noticing. He then gave his mother a kiss and a hug and shook hands with his father, whom pulled him in, clapping him on the back. He turned around and looked at the other man.

"This, mother and father," Vladislaus pointed to the stranger, "is my good friend Gabriel Van Helsing," he said smiling, gesturing for Gabriel to come forth. He took of his hat and went to Amadae and kissed her hand, shook Valerious' hand and then came to me taking my hand as I stretched it forward, but stared deeply into my eyes, as though trying to search my sole, and bent down to blow on the back of my hand, instead of touching it. He looked up at me again, though only a second, as Vladislaus came over offering his arm to me, which I took. He led me up the marble steps and inside the Vatican.

"You don't live _in_ the Vatican Cathedral, do you?" I asked, confused as to why we went into the Cathedral.

"No, no. Of course not, Cassandra. We live in the secret base under the Vatican. There's a kind of barrack there, if you will. It's not something exquisite, but it is liberation. It is freedom. And it's good enough," he said, turning around to face me again, because he had walked away gesturing upwards. I just stood there looking as innocent as I could, and smiled.

"So, how about looking at the armoury?" I asked, wanting to show off.

He turned around, a pleased smirk on his face.

"Ah, yes. The Armoury. Come, Cassandra," he said, waltzing to me and dragging me with him.

Walking around in silence for a while, he left me and opened the doors with both hands, gesturing me inside with a bow of his head. There were plenty of weapons, and many which I had never seen in my life. I left his arm and went around looking. I went behind some weapon cabinets and was met by a light. There was a crystal sword in a glass bell. I stood staring for a while before Vladislaus pulled me away from it and closed a cabinet in front of it.

"Sorry, Cassandra. That is a sacred sword of the archangels. It would best to leave it be," Vladislaus said. I nodded and went back and was captured by some detailed swords.

I took up a sword and after examining it carefully, I tapped Vladislaus' shoulder with it. The sound of a sword getting unsheathed sounded, seconds before the egg of his blade hit mine, which still were resting on his shoulder. He pointed his sword at my face with a grin on his handsome face.

"Oh, Cassandra! Why do you attack me, my love?" he said, his sword still at my face, and a smirk on his lips.

"Because!" I said, drawing back my sword and hitting his away, while grabbing it in the air and pointing both swords at him. "- I thought we should have a lethal dance, my dearest Count!" I said, realising how thick my accent really sounded. He continued to smirk at me.

"Of course," he said, and then I flipped the sword around and extended it towards him. He took it carefully out of my hand, so he wouldn't cut it.

"My! I must say, I had not expected you to be _this_ strong. My father told me that you had been practising in the armoury. He said it was a pleasure to watch and teach you. Now, I will be his substitute," he said charging at me with one hand his back.

"Yes," I drawled, "and so he was," I said defending my left flank.

We fought hard, trying to defeat the other. He tried his best not to cut me, and with the experience he had, he was successful on that point. He smirked at me too much, and I felt enraged and made stupid strokes at him, which in reality would have gotten me killed.

"Actually, he was quite worried, when he asked me if had put this task of learning swordfight on your shoulders, but I was quite astonished myself to hear you tried yourself. And for that," he drew back and away from me and bowed deeply, which gave me a chance to charge at him, "I must say _Bravo_," he got up and put his sword hilt to his shoulder, the blade pointing down, which entwined with mine and he broke it away from my hand, and then grasped me around my neck and flung away his and my borrowed sword.

I felt angry at him for some reason, but it was just the heat of the fight that had brought that upon me. The second I got what I had secretively yearned for in almost 7 years the anger died away and I returned his passionate and fiery kiss, melting in his touch. His hands ran down my back and hugged me around the waist. My one hand sought his irresistible hair in that silver clip, and the other slid from one of his shoulders to the small of his back and then back again, feeling his clothing and the muscles underneath. He kissed gently down my face and nuzzled my neck. He took a deep breath, inhaling my scent, and giving a muffled consent to it. All I could do was stand is his arms, with closed eyes, and accept everything he gave to me. He went back to my mouth and kissed it again, though it was only on the lips and so soft and enthralling, it made me whimper when he drew back, with a smile on his face.

"You have no idea how long I wanted _that_ to happen," he said pulling me to him and kissed my forehead.

I just smiled my reply, letting myself be led out again, after Vladislaus readjusted his ponytail. At first it was odd that he had, but then I realised that young knights of the Order could not have "girlfriends", _and_ we couldn't be seen doing what others, who lived here, were denied: love, and its "touch". I was cautious of my actions, so I wouldn't do something inexcusable. All day Vladislaus led me around and we had only hidden away a few times to kiss. When the evening came, we were to eat dinner with Valerious, Amadae, Gabriel and the Cardinal, Charram, at his house.

"Good evening, guests, and welcome. Firstly I would like to say..." Charram said, but I stopped listening as I was distracted by something touching my feet: Vladislaus' feet. I looked at him, and clearly he wasn't much for the speech the old Cardinal was going to give. He just began staring into my eyes. I looked back, a forbidden expression upon my face, as I tried to stop smiling at Vladislaus' teasing with his feet, and he constantly wanted to make eye contact, and I had a very hard time not returning it.

Eventually I gave up trying to focus on what words came from Charram's lips, and began trying to read which signals Vladislaus sent me. His eyes bore into mine, once again consuming me. I took my feet out of the shoes I wore and started to slide them up and down what I thought was Vladislaus' legs, but I found out, by the confused look on his face, that it was Gabriel's and I immediately withdrew them, acting as though it was a thing I usually did at a normal dinner table.

"Sorry," I whispered across the table to him, which made Charram send me a piercing look: he was no used to be disturbed.

"...and that we should thank the All Mighty One that..."

"Sorry, Gabriel," I whispered.

"_May I continue_, _miss_?" he said with sustained calm.

"Uh, yes, excuse me. Sorry," I said, noticing Vladislaus looking away to hide the grin on this face.

Charram continued his praising of God with a very monotone voice.

Vladislaus looked at me again and continued his stare. I once again tried to get comfortable in his gaze and returned it. I then gave it a last chance to cares Vladislaus' leg, and I knew I had gotten right, because Vladislaus started to smirk. We might have continued the gaze if Charram hadn't called us to hold hand with each other and say grace.

After dinner I went to get some fresh air, alone. There was a balcony just outside where we ate and the night sky was enlightened by a shinning silver moon and stars. Somebody came out behind me and put his hands on the balcony.

"You know, you are not allowed to do it," Gabriel said. I turned around to face him, his expression sincere and caring.

"To do what?" I asked.

"I know what you are doing. I saw you today at the monks' church. You are playing around" he said, looking up at me. Knowing my defeat there was no point in denying it.

"Yes. It has been," again realising how thick my accent was, "7 years, since I last saw him. Being with him today has been wonderful. And both he and I know the consequences. And obviously, so do you. But will betray your friend?" I asked looking him in the eye.

"I?!" he said with a hearty laugh. "He is my best friend. I would never betray him," he said.

"Then why have you come to me out here?" I asked.

"I am merely confessing, Miss Cassandra. And I am warning you as well. The Order will not look at this with mild eyes, and I will not be the one to betray him," he said, confusing me.

"Neither will I!" I said heatedly.

"Cassandra, I am not insinuating anything, I am telling you to be careful. Not all parts of the Vatican are full of happy faces. I know," he said looking at me strangely.

"Cassandra! Are you coming?" I heard Vladislaus call. I shot Gabriel a spiteful glance and walked inside. I almost felt like running straight into Vladislaus' arms and give him a wild kiss, but he would probably pull away and deny the sight before his parents' eyes. We walked out as we were shown to some sleeping quarters. I shared a room with Amadae, Vladislaus and Gabriel shared a room and Valerious slept alone. But in the middle of the night two people went for a night walk.

**A/N: hope you like it there'll be more;oD...**


	5. Chapter V

**A/N: gee, thanks for the reviews.. i had counted on some, but not with this kind of content... thanks all, and please read on!**

**Chapter V**

After sleeping for a few hours, I woke up in the middle of the night, unable to fall asleep again. I felt something gnawing in my stomach, making me uneasy. There was something I felt; a weird feeling, and there was anticipation, but fear, too. I didn't understand this at all. I decided to get up and go for a night walk. Sneaking to my travel chest, I took out a travel coat made of leather and put it on.

I slid out the door, not meeting anyone I took notice of because I was too consumed of the gnawing in my gut. I suddenly realised I had found my self on the way down the steps of the Vatican. A moment I just stared at the sky. The moon could no longer be seen. Suddenly something triggered me and it was dawning on me what the hurt in my gut meant, but before I could find it out properly, it was pushed aside by a voice from behind.

"No werewolves tonight," a voice said. It was Vladislaus I saw, as I turned around. The chock of hearing him so nearby, made adrenalin pump in my veins, making me feel more exhausted than I already were.

"Good evening," I said. He walked up to me and put an arm around my shoulders, and I leant into him, thinking, just as he did.

"Will you accompany me for a walk, Cassandra?" he asked, thoughtful.

"Of course," I said.

Then he took my hand and we walked further down the marble steps and strode to the heart of Rome.

We walked in silence as Vladislaus led me down several roads and cosy alleys, which, despite the time of night, were full of life, light and joy. The aroma of Rome was caught in by me, and I savoured it, loosing my self to the beautiful and alive scent. The romans smiled happily, obviously enjoying themselves. At bars, people were dancing, and at a particular loud and alive place, we went over to. I stopped dead, pulling my hand away from Vladislaus.

"What is it, Cassandra?" he asked, walking up to me.

"I... I don't want to go inside. I went out for a walk, Vladislaus. If I had wanted to sit down, I could have done that in my bed," I said firmly, trying to talk him out of the idea of going inside this tavern, probably filled with nauseous drunk men and women. He looked at me with a note of surprise on his face. He then smirked.

"Cassandra, if you must have a taste of Rome, you can't settle for a sip!" he said enthusiastically, nuzzling against me, looking deep into my eyes.

"I know what you fear Cassandra. And I promise you; this place does not house any _bad _people. I will protect you from what _evil_ there might come upon you. And that," he went down on one knee taking my hand in his and looking into my eyes, "is a _promise_, a _oath_, an _pact_, that I will keep, _for ever_! If you do not believe in this, in me, then you do not trust me. Do you trust me, Cassandra, mi amour?" he said, looking seriously at me, an almost pleading look in his eyes. I thought for a second, and I had to admit that I _did_ trust him, very much, in fact.

"Yes," I said, "But you _sure_ do make a big deal out of it, just to get a love-stricken girl into a tavern," I continued, not being able to help the smile that was playing about on my lips.

He smiled broadly at me, got up and pulled me with him inside, ordering wine for the both of us. We sat down at a table and I looked around at all the people there: laughing, dancing, drinking, _enjoying_ themselves in dark corners, of which there were quite a few of.

He put the red-purple liquid down and pulled me from my chair, and asked if I would like to dance. It surprised me that he had asked, especially because I had never expected Vladislaus being capable of dancing; and he was most capable! A song was played up by the live orchestra, which look more like a couple of people enjoying the tones of music, which they so beautifully were capable of expressing on their own instruments; they looked rather well-used.

The song had a dancing-beat, but at the same time it was slow. People just started dancing, though not some slow must-be-perfect-waltz, but an improvising dance, which were made perfect only by their own performance. And of course Vladislaus joined in, urging me to dance along. I had hardly started my own dancing, feeling incredibly stupid while doing so, before he grabbed me and twirled me around.

It was breathtaking and very sensual, and hard not to fall into; all you needed was a partner, instincts and senses to guide you. The tavern was much crowded, and more people came and danced and the space was lesser and lesser, and keeping apart from Vladislaus was getting harder, and harder to avoid, not that I truthfully wanted to.

Dancing with Vladislaus was art; he twirled me, dipped me, steered me into the perfectionism of a dance made by lovers. His eyes had a glint and he put much effort into the dance. He dipped me slowly backwards as he lowered himself to the floor, laying me backside-down over his thigh and leant over me and nibbled at the tender flesh of my neck, flickering his tongue over my skin and licked along my jaw line, gently, with the tip of his tongue.

As he was doing this, his hand fingered the line where my coat were buttoned together, then, just before going over my breast, he drove his hand, caressingly, out on the side of my body, and his hand continued up my flank and onto my back, massaging my shoulder blades with a light pressure of his fingers. Suddenly it all stopped as he pulled me up, sharply, crushing his body to mine and I felt uneasy and uncomfortable about it, but I had said I trusted him.

As the song ended, he twirled me around one single, and swift, time, then swung me over his thigh, and leant back and away from me. People, who had stopped to watch us, were applauding, and Vladislaus savoured their admiration, giving of a devilish smirk, which I am sure only I caught sight of. We made our way back to our table, but unfortunately, it was occupied, and Vladislaus led us to another table in one of the many dark corners of the tavern. He threw himself into a couch, which was built into the wall, while panting.

"How did you like it?" he asked nonchalantly. I smiled and panted slightly as well.

"Oh Vladislaus! It was wonderful! How do you know how to dance like that?" I asked exasperated, leaning against him, snaking my arms around him, and placing my head on his stomach.

"Ah... That is for me to know and for you to find out," he said with a secretive smile, as he continued to stare at the dancers. He then looked down at me with a mild expression, bending down, kissing me gently. He pulled me up, before he cupped my face with his hands and looked at me, his thumbs caressing my cheek bones. The look in his eyes was unmistakable. They glinted with lust, and for that moment I didn't mind being wanted by him.

He pulled me close and closed his mouth over mine, and put his left arm behind me, so my back-bone rested on the length of his arm, just to steady my back and head. I lifted my legs up onto the couch, and stuck my left leg behind his back and the other around his stomach, _encircling_ him, which led him to put a hand to rest on my right leg, just below my knee-cap, as he continue to deepen our passionate kiss.

I put my hands around his neck and sat in his lap, parting my lips, as his tongue sought into mouth to explore every little part of it. He then slid his hand up my leg, up to my thigh. First, he caressed it on the outer side, but then on the inner side, as his hand went under the night dress, continuing to slide further up.

As it dawned on me what he was doing, I tried to escape his playful hand, and he just thought I was playing with him. When he wouldn't stop, I panicked a little. I pulled away from him faster than lightning and stared at him, my face expression a cross between incredulousness and hurt.

He looked back, surprised, and confused as to why I had pulled away from his love and touch. He, of course, had just meant it lovingly, but I still got up. I looked down at him, and he looked as though the world had come crashing down on him. He looked sincerely apologetic at me, though he couldn't quite understand where he had gone wrong. He looked as if he regretted ever laying a hand on me, and was stunned by stepping over my boarder, which he, now that I thought about, had promised me to protect me from.

"I'm sorry Vladislaus I can't go through with this," I said, not understanding his muffled response. I edged around the tables, catching good-natured claps on my flank on my whole way outside, Vladislaus following me the whole time. I got outside and he got up to me and stood in front of me, holding my forearms, and boring his eyes into mine.

"What is wrong, Cassandra? Did I do-...?" he started unhappily.

"No... no, it's not you. It's me, and I can't... I can't do _it_, Vladislaus. I'm sorry, but I can't," I said confused, walking past him. He went in front of me again. He looked wildly into my eyes searching for something, hurt showing in his eyes.

"Why, Cassandra? Is there something wrong? Please tell me, I beg you?" he asked, a pained look on his face, as if he had done me harm, by slapping me or something like it.

"I-... not here Vladislaus... later... tomorrow," I said rapidly. I looked away to seek other words to assure him. "I... _love_ you Vladislaus, I know it! And believe I would do anything for you, but I am not ready. I want you; _God_ knows I do, but I-... I can not! Now, you can stay here, or lead me home, either way I am going... I need time, space. I have got to think... _Alone_!" I said confused, looking wildly around, wanting Vladislaus to take me home, to the borrowed rooms, and hold me through the night, tightly. He looked helplessly at me, taking in what I had just said. He seemed to have read my mind and said,

"I will follow you home, Cassandra, and I-... I love you, too. Almost ever since..." he trailed off slightly, to smile at me, "Ever since I saw you for the first time. I don't want to ruin anything... to ruin this... Now, _please_ tell me what's wrong-?"

"No! Goodnight Vladislaus," I half cried, half breathed in a pained voice, walking away, the pain of loss rushing through me. I wanted him so badly to follow me but I did not dare turn around, and make him.

'_Follow me Vladislaus, please_!' I thought. But he did not. I turned, stealing a glance at him as he sat down, against a house wall, with his face in his hands, sighing loudly, shaking his head lightly.

I kept walking, and I walked for a long time, beginning to think I had gotten lost. I stopped and leant against a house wall and sat down, burying my face in my knees, as I held around my legs. I heard steps to my right, but they did not belong to Vladislaus, which I had anticipated. The person who knelt down, and took up my face, belonged to Gabriel, and I realised that too late as I, very quickly, said 'I'm sorry,' and gave him a deep, but soft kiss. He didn't pull away right away but relaxed for a moment into the kiss. Then he pulled away, looking surprised, both at me and himself, actually he looked very distressed

"Gabriel, I-... excuse me," I said getting up, feeling very embarrassed.

"Cassandra, I let me follow you home. You can't wander home alone," he said walking up to me.

"Thank you Gabriel, but no thank you. I want to walk back alo- aiee!" I screamed, tripping over a loose stone and falling to my knees.

Gabriel was there in an instant, pulling me up to him by my forearms. There was complete silence around us, smoke billowing about, and my warm breath was visible in the night air. His breath warmed my face, and wasn't at all that uncomfortable. The concerned look in his eyes was replaced with spiteful longing. I was enthralled by this for a moment, but walked past him, but his hold on my forearms was tightening up and he pulled me back to him.

He looked at my eyes as if he tried to search my soul. He looked as though he was in doubt whether he should do something or not. He seemed as though he had decided, and then his lips were on mine in a second, and his tongue frantically broke through my now parted lips, which he greedily had forced open. It was hard at first but then he softened op and continued gently, as his tongue massaged mine. '_He's tried _this_ before, for sure,'_ I thought. Then, guilt washed over me, and was eating me alive, as I kissed, and continued, this gentle kiss, which reminded me of Vladislaus' way of handling my lips. I pushed him away. I stood for a second looking down into the ground, before speaking, sounding rather shaken.

"Bye, Gabriel, or I will tell this to _someone_," I said, pushing past him.

"I am sorry, Cassandra!! I didn't mean to!" he said, sounding despaired, and choked over his actions.

I didn't care, but just continued to walk. I regretted kissing him, and if I didn't tell Vladislaus about it, I would burst with shame, and I would ask and plea for forgiveness from him. 'I would do anything for him,' I thought. I kept thinking about how stupid I was, not seeing where I went, but I was back at the Vatican, and entered and went back to bed. I decided with myself to confess tomorrow, and that I would beg for forgiveness from God, for having deceived Vladislaus.

**A/N: hoped you liked it, so please continue on the path of rightiousness... and R&R!!!!**


	6. Chapter VI

**A/N:YO, people!! first of all: i'm sorry to have kept anybody waiting, and i hope you be happy with this, nonetheless.... wish that there would be some more reviewers, but i am SO glad for the ones i've got! this, and probably the 2 next chaps, might not be what you want to read, cus you're here to read about Cass and vlad's ship, but i am going to wait a little while for that... hope you don't mind, really! now i present to you:**

**Chapter VI**

As we ate breakfast the next morning, I was as silent as the flowing dust in the room. I silently ate, not looking at Gabriel, or Vladislaus. Only Gabriel gave a few replies when he was asked whether he had slept well, but Vladislaus just kept sending me apologetic glances, like the ones he had sent his father the morning after our little trip to town. Amadae kept all attention away from the three of us, by talking loudly and happily about how she had slept, and other things.

I avoided the looks with an agitated feeling under my skin, as if someone were pulling at it in every direction, and I wanted to get up and scream at him to stop feeling sorry and start doing something about it. I felt bad about it enough as it was. Last night, I had thought that I was walking towards dignity when I walked away from him, but instead I walked straight into the arms of Gabriel! Now, I wasn't so sure if I had made the right decision, maybe I should have let him down softly, or maybe I should even have let him continue, I wasn't sure.

The more I thought about it, a thought suddenly came to mind: maybe he had just played nice, just so he could-... just so he could _touch_ me. A lump came in my throat, but I sank it down. Maybe I was just a play toy for him to use, and he only used the nearest woman, because he had no other, considering that he was sworn to celibacy. - Until marriage, that is. I mentally slapped myself for that remark. He would never do that. He wouldn't try and woo me for 7 years without truly meaning what he had said, and he had also said, already last night, that he loved me.

A little smile curled around my lips. But it immediately disappeared as a sting of guilt sucked in my stomach: I had kissed Gabriel. I felt so unworthy of Vladislaus' love. I kissed his best friend: what was I thinking?! I kissed him twice; good, deep, long kisses, that reminded me of(the lump resurfaced) Vladislaus'. I pushed my bread away, putting a hand to my stomach.

"Excuse me, I want to go for a..." I trailed off, standing as I said this. I shot Vladislaus and Gabriel a glance telling them to 'sod off!'(**A/N: yeah yeah, pirate-lingo, but I CAN'T help it, heehee!**). I walked to the grand cathedral, where the confessing chair was.

As I walked inside the grand building, I was wondering why there was no chanting of monks, and an unholy silence rested in the huge hall. Looking around, I saw grand paintings of cherubs, archangels, a beautifully illustrated picture of Satan (**A/N:!**), among other things. There was also gilded, or golden, caledabras and chandeliers.

A huge organ, whose pipes were taking up a big piece of a wall, was cut in mahogany-wood, and its pipes were made of bronze. There was also comfortable benches, which had velvet-linden poufs, and looking ahead of the benches, three steps up, a very majestic altar stood in front of the them: it was a big table(without legs because there was cupboards instead) made out of green yellowish marble. The cupboards were snow-white, though the curves were gilded with golden paint.

On top of the marble-table there was a HUGE doily made of fine green, red, black, yellow, white, silver- and gold-threads. Walking up the three steps, which had a red carpet hammered into it, I let my fingers feel the doily's surface: silk-threads. On top of the doily, there were two statuettes of angels: whether it was archangels or not, I didn't know. They were of ruff, sand-blown crystal, but seemed, however, to be cut to perfection. Both angels held a three feet long, thick candle, which burned dimly. Behind the candles was a big wooden picture, probably made of mahogany, too.

I snorted, as a smile spread on my face; '_So much for modesty!_' I thought. I walked over to the confessional department of the cathedral, and was stretching out my hand to take a grip on the knob, but a hand was catching my lower arm, and swung me around so that I was face to face with... Gabriel.

"You don't have time for that, you-"he started, still having his grip on my arm.

"I most _certainly_ do, if I want to!" I retorted, beginning to turn for the confessional again. He pulled me closer to him and looked at me, something like urgency and need for obedience shone in his eyes.

"_No_, you _don't_," he said through clenched teeth. "The Order's under attack, and that means that you, and the Valerious' are going away, as quickly as possible," he said, taking my hand, starting to walk, dragging me along with him, and away from the confessional.

He took me all the way to the our sleeping quarters, letting go instantly as we were in sight of Amadae, the Elder, Vladislaus, the cardinal and a few heavily armed men, strapped in full armour. All three held their helmets under their left, or right, arm, and turned their heads, almost as if being in one mind, when we came closer.

They looked as if they were going to give an overly stiff, though polite greeting, but stopped dead in the search for words as they saw me. I saw Vladislaus smirk at their looks, and I couldn't help but blush myself, but then I remembered that the most of these men where sworn to celibacy, and the barely-contained smile, which had fought a brave, however short fight on my face, died away, and disappeared, as a slight intimidation seemed to seep into my heart. The two of them almost stumbled over each other to greet me.

"Good day, miss," one said, obviously not as courtly as he had wanted it to sound, and took my hand and kissed it. He was handsome. He had sea-blue eyes. ten inches long, blond hair was pulled into a little ponytail. He had a sand-coloured moustache and beard. The moustache was only two short lines on his upper lip, and the beard on his chin was 'fork'-shaped, liked the devil's fork, which He used to stick into the tender flesh of his prisoners, either in purgatory and/or hell. His body-shape, however, was not able to be seen, because of the heavy armour, and weapons.

"Thank you. Good day to you, too," I said, pulling, my hand slowly from his grip, the earlier intimidation gone, as dew in the morning sun.

"Good day, miss," the second said. He was handsome as well. He had a rather stiff manner about him, but his eyes rather betrayed the way he held him self, and behaved. He took my hand and kissed it as well. His eyes were chocolate-brown, and somehow they managed to shine, as if an internal fire burnt within them. His hair was as black as through-roughly burnt coal, but it glistened naturally, and not in the sense that it hadn't been washed for a week! His hair was going down over his ears, but the hair underneath the longer locks, were different lengths, albeit shorter. He also had a beard, one that glistened like the hair, and was not in a mess, like most beards, but as if he had actually combed it recently. He had a thin sliver of silver, the length of the average person's pinkie, which had green and blue sapphires embedded into it. It glistened, too, even when he didn't move his head.

"Thank you, as well," I replied, enjoying this man's hand kiss more then the first and probably also more than the third.

"Good day, miss," said the third, an older man, with many silver-grey streaks in his brown hair. His eyes were brown, and a bit dull to look at. They were hard an cold, and did not look so caring. He had a beard, too, though his went all the way down to his stomach, and was very white, despite the fact that the man had brown hair. His face also had serious face features, and quite a few scars around the face. My own manner changed, seeing that he was probably old enough to be a Lord.

"Good day to you, as well, my Lord," I said, lifting my dress a little, curtseying. He took my hand and kissed it chastely.

I looked at Vladislaus, and his smirk was gone, and replaced with something not unlike jealousy. I smirked at him, immediately regretting it, seeing as he had done nothing wrong last night. I was about to say sorry to him, but remembered who we were amongst. Instead I tried to catch his eye, to send him an apologetic glance. But he didn't look at me again. That moment, a man came running up to our little 'polite' gathering, panting hard while giving his message.

"Sire, Cardinal!! We need reinforcements, quickly. Heavy armoury, archers, even clergymen would be appreciated! Warrior priests, please, _anything_!! The demons are gaining!" he said, almost too quickly for anyone to pick any of what he had said up. But obviously the Cardinal didn't miss a word.

"Be at piece lieutenant!!! How many are there?!" he asked, turning around to face us, but spoke to the three soldiers, as he threw a little bottle of water into the lieutenant's hands.

"Lead The Valerious Family to the harbour of Rome, perhaps longer, if need be. Get a head start and go now. Return after completion of your mission! Now!" he shrieked, just catching what the lieutenant had answered.

'Demons?' I thought. 'Vladislaus _had_ met these evil beings he had claimed to face. And Gabriel as well,' I continued, feeling the urge to flash Gabriel a smile of acknowledge, which Vladislaus caught sight of, looking even more incredulous than before. He looked hateful and avenging on Gabriel and before I even had the chance to say goodbye, lest the chance to explain, Vladislaus and Gabriel were ordered to the 'lines' and I was ushered with the three soldiers, along with Amadae and the Elder, though he looked like that he would choose to fight _any_ day.

We slipped from the Vatican without being noticed by the ugly demons flying around the place, like a horde of birds; at least we thought that, for now. Just as we were outside the harbour city, in the woods, a pack of demons on about 5 or six pieces came flying at us. Amadae, the Elder and I were sent along the road, while Laurén, the older man, Ronan, the raven haired, and Nico, the blond (**A/N: (snickers) It's not like he's living up to his hair-colour-reputation, heehee!**), stayed behind to fend off the demons. Others might have had their heart in their throats, but I just rode my horse, urging it to go a little faster. We had just gotten out of the woods, as a heartbreaking shout soared through the tree tops. I turned my horse, whipping past the Elder, grabbing his sword, and galloping back into the woods, towards the scream.

Ronan had fallen off of his horse, a bad wound on his left forearm. I cringed at it, as the armour on his arm was bent in, so that metal stuck into the wound. He was writhing in pain on the forest floor, his raven hair shining in the light from above and the earring glistened as well, but he only lay there for moment, since there still were four demons left to fight.

I jumped off of my horse and sped for the demons, and the three men immediately got over to me, encircling me, facing outwards. An agitated feeling quickly rose within me, and I wanted to push them all away. When a demon came soaring forward, I jumped forwards, making a 'show-off ' kind of twirl and chopped off the demons head. The last three were killed, almost too easy, by the men. At that moment Amadae and the Elder came galloping into the forest clearing. Amadae looked fervently at me: I had black material all over me, from severing the demons head from its body.

"Are you o.k.? Are all of you o.k.?" she asked, addressing me first, and then looking around at the others until her look fell on Ronan's cut. Her expression changed to pity, and she jumped off of her horse, only stopping to get bandages and doctor-like tools from her saddle bag, and then ran to him.

"Uuu, ouch! Maybe we should get to the harbour, maybe they can-"Amadae started.

"No, just... just get the metal out, and," he sank, "sow it back together, _please_?" he said, a little trace of tears in his eyes from the pain. She nodded and said that I should ease off the armour on his lower arm, before trying to ease the upper arm's armour off.

"Of course," I said, nodding.

As I did this I imagined it being Vladislaus instead of Ronan. Vladislaus had just come home from his _last_ war, and wanted me assisting him in taking his battered armour off of him. Following up my fantasy, I had pulled off all of Vladislaus armour, and he took my hand as I put the last piece down. He pulled me to him, and kissed me ever-so deep. He held me by my hands, entwining his fingers with mine, holding them down our sides. His hands leave mine to hug me, and one hand glides down and squeezes my bump.

My eyes shot open and the person I was kissing in my imagination wasn't Vladislaus, anymore, but Ronan! I jutted back into reality as Ronan gives off a miniscule cry of pain, as I was not being careful enough. A second he sends me an angry glare but it quickly melted away as he saw the 'in love'-smile I wore on my face, realising too late, that he could see it. He smiled back, his canines very peaky and surprisingly white.

"Oh, sorry!" I said, a little panicky as though they could read my mind, the smile gone.

I strap it off of his arm, carefully, and as it breaks contact with his flesh and skin, he held his breath, then made a whimpering sigh as I pulled it fully off. More blood came out, because the metal must have been a kind of stopper for the blood flow.

"Thank you," he said tensely, Amadae taking over. In the mean time, Nico had lidded a fire, which was made to flame a big, nasty-looking hunting-knife to press against the wound, after cleaning it as good as possible, without much more water than what we carried in animal-skin bags.

In the evening, we went out of the woods, again. We rode towards the town to get some supplies for our trip over the Adriatic Sea towards Transylvania. As we went into the local inn, _Traveller's Request_, we booked us in. Ronan went up to the bar and drummed the table a few seconds before leaning over asking,

"When's the next ship for Transylvania?"

The host turned and answered, shooting a look in our direction,

"For Transylvania? Tomorrow, around noon, I should think. Not many go there, what are your business?" he looked mischievously at the armour Ronan, and the three others wore, and shot me a worried glance as well, as my rather large shirt was ruined by black and dirty spots here and there; it was even a little torn.

"None of yours, anyway," he answered, giving the bar man some money. "Is there any room for... six people?" he continued.

"Fair answer, mate. Just checking; you never know. About the rooms, I've got plenty. But, ehm, how's it going to be? I mean, the lovely women," he waved at Amadae and me, and we smiled in return, "for them selves, and you four men by your self?" he asked.

"Uhm, just the best rooms you've got... and how much, _do you think_, that will cost...?" he said, but I stopped listening, just staring fixedly at him.

He might seem like a show-off at first, and maybe a little stiff as well, but that couldn't be true, that couldn't be right! He seemed so gentle in my eyes. Maybe he was. 'Oh, STOP rambling!' I thought, 'STOP IT! But then again, he _is_ rather handsome and... oh God!' I continued to think. He walked back to us and said.

"Well, the good rooms the Inn has are 2-persons. Valerious, you and your wife share a room-"he was cut off by Valerious.

"Amadae, you and Cassandra will be sharing a room, Laurén and Nico share one, and Ronan and I share one as well, yes? Good! Now let us get upstairs. We still got a journey ahead of us before reaching Vaseria. Now, Ronan, would you be so kind as to show us to our rooms?" Valerious asked, looking hard at Ronan, perhaps harder than intended, and Ronan looked back, indignation was momentarily in his eyes, but it disappeared as he went upstairs, and the rest of us followed.

After a few hours of trying to fall asleep, I finally succeeded, only to wake up three, or more, hours later. Guilt burnt so evilly in my stomach. I've betrayed three men in two days! 'I must be jinxed!' I thought. Vladislaus for kissing his best friend, Gabriel... twice! Gabriel, by letting him on, or letting him misunderstand my signals, and Ronan: for not telling him that I was thinking of Vladislaus when I sat and smiled earlier. 'I've let him on as well,' I thought, miserably.

"Femme fatal," I concluded in a whisper, letting out a frustrated growl.

'The worst part about letting Ronan on, is that you _do_ feel _something_ for him, don't you?' an annoying voice in the back of my head said. I got up and went for the toilet downstairs: male and female toilet. I closed the door silently and went down the steps and opened the door to the toilet.

I spotted a tap and walked towards it, as the sound of a water-splash sounded from the other side of a door labelled '_men_'. I pushed it open and looked in, not really expecting what I would see: Ronan getting up from a wooden bath-tub in the corner, naked.

His back was turned towards me and his hair hung over his head like a helmet. His shoulders were sunburned; apparently, he didn't quite abide the laws of the Order... or the laws of celibacy, I saw, as my eyes travelled down his trained and muscled back, and stopped at his bump: it was equally tanned as his shoulders were.

I took myself in gaping at his figure for second, before he turned left, reaching for a bath towel, and I made a sharp intake of breath, making him drew the towel around his waist, and whip around starring at the door. He probably came out to see who it had been, but I had already run out the door, up the stairs, into the room, closing the door as silently as possible, and jumped into the bed, the water, I had hungrily gone after earlier, long forgotten.

The next day we went down to the ships in the harbour. The one we were going to sail on was called '_Water Beast_', which were written in golden letters on the front, on both sides. We boarded with the amount of clothes, money, horses and people we had, and sailed for a week, as a little storm had risen. I had thought about what I had seen that night at '_Traveller's Request_' and I couldn't stop thinking about him. And this delay on our journey, by this wretched weather, I was beginning to think that maybe we, Ronan and I, were meant to figure _something_ out.

He had been wonderfully sweet towards me since we left the Inn, and I revelled in his attention, a bit too much, maybe. Valerious didn't like what he saw. Either, it was because he had thought that me and Vladislaus were meant to be together, or maybe he didn't like Ronan breaking his oath to celibacy. And the more time I spent with Ronan, down in the warm cabins, the more I liked him, and started to, slightly, love him.

I had taken him in looking at me, weirdly, but sometimes with a lustful expression, which I wasn't sure whether I liked or not. On the sixth day, the night before we would arrive in Romania, I woke, bathed in sweat, a sting of guilt gnawing devilishly in my stomach. I got up, swaggering over to a side-cabin, where fresh water was stationed. I took up the drinking spoon which was rattling around the bucket edges. I took a few mouthfuls, enjoying the taste of the water, greatly.

I looked at the wall behind the bucket, and leant my head against it, thinking of the dream, or nightmare I had just had.

**FLASHBACK**

I was looking at myself, but not from my body, but just beside it. Vladislaus went over to me and tapped my shoulder and kissed me, without a warning. Then he disappeared, and Gabriel came running up to me, kissing me very chastely. I turned away, and suddenly a man was in my arms, though I wasn't quite sure who it was. I drew away, look backwards only to find Gabriel with an shocked expression, and then I looked at Vladislaus, who first looked horrified, then disgusted, and finally angry.

I looked at the man, who held me so possessively, and saw Ronan. I tried to pull fully away from him, but he put me behind him and screamed heartbreakingly, as Vladislaus' angry sword entered through Ronan's stomach, and exited through his spine.

To add assault to injury, Vladislaus forced Ronan on his knees, the sword still in his gut, and shouted something in his face, which I got too deaf to hear, and as Ronan shook his head, Vladislaus' eyes became... it was indescribable! His eyes turned colour, from deep, dark brown, to icy crystal-blue, and he twisted the sword in Ronan's gut, making him gasp and scream in agony.

In the mean time, my perspective was no longer from the sidelines, but from my own eyes. I wanted to do something for Ronan, but nothing happened; I couldn't move. It was as though I didn't care! He just died slowly, Vladislaus' red blade sticking through him.

Then it all disappeared, and I had something heavy in my hands, and I wore something heavy as well, though I couldn't see what it was. Suddenly, as if out of thin air, Gabriel came charging at me with a rage so despaired, I was frozen to the spot. He lifted something and swung. I prepared for the blow, but I could feel nothing. My sight just when white, as if I had looked at the sun for too long. I felt a sting of loss, and I awoke.

**END FLASHBACK**

I heaved a deep sigh, as I took another mouthful of water. I didn't want to sleep now. I felt like I had lost Ronan. 'Lost Ronan?!' I thought furiously. I wasn't supposed to be thinking of Ronan's well-being. I wasn't supposed to feel anything for him, but then again, I had fallen in love with Vladislaus, and that hadn't been allowed, either.

I took on my leather coat, and walked up on deck, surveying, the sea, as I saw that it was lulling the ship to Romania. My eyes looked the whole way around the ship, seeing sailors on duty, but it stopped as my eyes fell on Ronan, who had exchanged his armour for a pair of black sailors breeches, a green shirt, and a black cape, which hung over his shoulders. His muscles were _rather_ visible in the tight shirts curves. I walked over to him.

"Lovely night, isn't it?" I asked, looking up at him, and then looking over the Adriatic Sea.

"Might be. What are you doing out of bed, Miss Cassandra?" he asked, as though he was here to keep the rules.

"The same as you, I should think. I couldn't sleep. And it's 'Cassandra' to you," he drew a big smile at this and turned to face me, and I turned as well, looking into those pools of fluid chocolate.

I wanted to kiss him, right there, but I felt that I couldn't. I had done enough damaged already and there was no reason to-... he had put his hand to my cheek, caressing it a second, before cupping my whole face and pulling me close to his own, drawing my eyes into his. His lips brushed over mine, and they stayed there. He kissed me gently, many times. He pulled my body a little closer to himself, enveloping me in his cape.

He parted his lips a little, licking my lips a few seconds before he smiled into the kiss, because I had taken a hold on his hips, gliding my hands up his sides, and onto his back, and held a grip on his shoulders. I kissed back, and parted my lips.

He hungrily lounged into the kiss, feeling every curve, hole and piece of flesh in my mouth, though being a little more interested in letting the tip of his tongue slide up the sides of mine, and massaging and lashing the tip of my tongue, as well.

My hands sought down to his bump, gripping it firmly, pressing my nails into the material, trying to dig into his skin; to feel him out. He certainly wasn't shy either, because he went down to my pants' line, and pulled it slightly out, letting a few fingers go down to touch the skin on my bump. I shivered, not being able to help it: I enjoyed his touch. He kept kissing me as well. Doing this over and over again, till my tongue felt soar.

He seemed to have read my mind, or maybe he just had a soar tongue as well, anyway he went from my mouth to my neck, nuzzling it, and flickered his tongue over the skin... just like Vladislaus had done. He went up to my mouth again, and I whimpered into the kiss and he drew away, at first looking around, probably expecting to see Valerious, or one of his own comrades, then he looked wonderingly down at me. I looked down, and away from his eyes. I felt guilty, because by kissing him, like this, I had stopped any development between Vladislaus and myself. 'It's his own fault, never visiting me in his homeland. In his own birthplace,' I thought. He shouldn't, _couldn't_, expect me to wait for him, for ever, could he?

"Ronan, I-"I paused a second, and then gazed into his eyes again. "It's nothing, you just... stepped over my toes," I said, giving him a small smile.

"Oh, sorry!" he said, moving his feet, grinning at me.

Before I started kissing him again, I had to make one thing sure: did I care if he really loved me, at this very moment? I kissed him, showing my heart my decision. A little while passed, as he had started on his gentle, brushing kisses, again. He broke it, took my hand and went for the cabins below. Walking around down there a few minutes he lightly pushed me inside his own cabin, closing the door behind him. He took hold of me and kissed me again, biting my lower-lip lightly.

"Are you... alright... with... this?" he whispered huskily, in between kisses.

I nodded, and he smiled in return, kissing me again. He took off his cloak and my coat, going down on his knees. He bent down to the travel-boots I was wearing, and pulled of my left-foot shoe, kissing the back of my feet. He did the same to my other foot.

It struck me as an incredibly dumb thing, but I enjoyed it, nonetheless. He kissed up the front of my legs, starting at my calves, while his hands slid up, as his mouth progressed in the same direction. He started lifting up my night-shirt, kissing my thighs, and I got nervous, and I felt like backing out. His hands slid to my bump, again, and his lips went from my thigh, to my belly, which let the burden of nervousness off my shoulders, again.

There he sat, on his knees, pushing up my shirt, to flicker his tongue over my skin. He circled my bellybutton in a spiral-form, and then stuck his experienced tongue into it, so abruptly, and hard, that I nearly choked as I made a sharp intake of breath, and placed my hands on his shoulders, squeezing them. I moaned silently as he intensified his bellybutton-'rub'. I could feel that he stopped to smile, and then he bit my skin, nibbled it, changing between hard and soft bites, and I could feel his fangs pricking my skin, lightly.

I smiled, enjoying it all. I was surprised by how smooth and gentle he was, contradicting the way my father had used me to pleasure him, but all the fear I had held for Vladislaus when he _just_ 'touched' me, was gone, when Ronan played over my body, and with each pleasure he gave to me, he extracted low moans from my lips. His hands slid over my body, except my breasts, and my crotch, which I was thankful for. I shivered, which led him on to believe that I liked it, which was entirely true.

He lifted the shirt even more, just below my breasts, and kissed the skin below my arms' pit. He got up, kissing my neck, so gently, soft and feather-like. He let the shirt folds stretch out and fall down over my body, again. He pushed me over to his bunk, and made me sit down. He got back up, and started pulling off his own shirt, and breeches, and his muscles were rippling slightly, when he got over to the bed, kneed down, and kissed my lips softly, suckling the lower lip a second before he bit it, and let go.

He pushed me back on the bed, pulling my shirt over my head, and the exposure of my bosom didn't bother me at all, once he started kissing me again. He obviously enjoyed the kisses, too, because he seemed to put so much into it, trying to make me feel alright, and loved. I think he figured it was my first time, though I have no idea how. We got under the sheets, and we pulled each other's pants off, caught up in the intensifying lust we shared and had for each other. My muscles in the "private area" contracted as he ran his hand from my belly, down the middle, and drove his hand gently over on to my left thigh.

I sank in my throat as he rolled on top of me, kissing, nuzzling, nibbling, biting my neck, making me moan. He spread my legs, and entered me, moaning lustful. The first few times he thrust slowly, I didn't like it, but as I began feeling the pleasure through the pain, I submitted, fully.

I woke, at dawn, in panic, afraid I might have been missed during the night. I got out of Ronan's bunk, and got on my night-shirt and walked out, taking my coat on, and my shoes with me, leaving a kiss on Ronan's forehead before I left. I sneaked all the way back to my cabin, where Amadae slept heavily, according to the heavy breathing she had, which is similar to the kind a sleeping person has. I took the coat off and went under the covers to get a few hours sleep before we had to get up, and off of the ship.

**A/N: hope you like it, and all.... any tips or advise, or anything, is appreciated... i've got a path to follow, so i hope it works out for me!! now, R&R, PWEASE?**


	7. Chapter VII

**A/N: hello reviewers!!! gee, i'm so happy fer all that response, and i really smiled at all **Widow of Dracula**'s rapid comments!! please, read on, and R&R!! it inspires me when you tell me your thought of each chapter, and that really helps me to get on with the next chapter, and i kinda take pride in making it, when i know people awaits my story's update. thank you all! and now:**

**Chapter VII**

Amadae lightly shook me awake after only a few hours sleep, which was all I had gotten since I left Ronan earlier. The thought of him brought a broad smile on my face.

"What are you so happy about?" Amadae asked, smiling as well.

"Uhm, well... to be honest, though it has been wonderful visiting Vladislaus, seeing him again, I'm just really looking forward to getting home," I said, still smiling, thinking about last night; 'Oh, those kisses...!' I thought, and smiled even broader.

I packed down my night-shirt, and took on a pair of riding pants, a silk-blouse with a corset over, my travel-boots, and then my leather-coat. I swung the rest over my back and went up on deck, having a small pain in my abdomen. It didn't hurt much, just an annoying prickle. Valerious, Nico, Laurén and Ronan stood, waiting for us, as we were to go to shore.

I had to fight off a smile, when I looked into his eyes. He, too, looked away.

"Good morning, Ladies. Shall we?" Valerious said, offering his arm to Amadae. They went over to a hole in the reeling, and went down a plank with half-circled wood pieces on it, so one wouldn't slide on it. I followed; the last three on my heel.

The sailors brought our horses along, so as soon as we had gathered resources, we were off to Transylvania, the rocking of the horse affecting the pain in my womb.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We rode for a few days, finally reaching the mountains, where a storm was starting to blow up; a big annual snowstorm.

Nico had suggested to turn around and go back home now, since they might not make it in the storm when it really started up, full throttle. Laurén had wanted that as well, but Ronan, claiming to want to see his mission entirely through, to make sure that we were in no peril on the last bit, stayed behind, while the others returned home; I guess he _did_ love, or at least, _like_ me, in some way.

The last time we made a stop for the night, he had the first watch, and as Valerious crept into his tent, and Amadae fell asleep in ours, I sneaked out to Ronan, who sat by the fire.

"Hi," I said, as he turned around.

He said nothing, just smiled and moved over, so that I could sit next to him. He put his cape around me, putting an arm around my shoulders and I leant my head against his shoulder.

"You know, I never thought that I could _really_ _love _someb-..." he sank, "That's why I enrolled at the Order. Then there would be a logic reason as to why I didn't stay with the women, and... and _girls_ I...uhm..." he trailed off, looking away, into the woods around us, seemingly embarrassed. "I can't-"

"Then don't," I said with persuasion.

I stared at the fire, taking in its warmth. I just smiled, which he noticed, as he looked at me; he _did_ love me.

"What?" he asked, grinning. I bit my lower lip a second.

"Nothing, really it's just..." I stopped and looked up at him. "There is _something_ I must know, Ronan. I _have_ to hear it coming from your lips... Do you... do you... _love_ me?" I asked, feeling stupid.

I wanted to know. If he was ready to give up a lot of thing for me, and offered himself, his love, to me, I just couldn't, wouldn't be able to resist it. I moved his shoulder away, and turned him to me, and brushed my lips against his. He put his arms around me to take hold of me and keep me in place. '_God_, this is good,' I thought, revelling in his kiss, as he put his gloved fingers into my hair.

"That's what I just said, you silly girl," he teased, once he broke away.

We had sat and talked for a few hours, and I felt like I got to know him, very well, in fact. I got hold of his age 29; 8 years older than myself, nearly a decade! He was a good leader, but was _always_ in the shade of Vladislaus' leadership skills, though he thought he was better, and it was clear that he didn't say all his feelings towards Vladislaus, as he was sitting next to the love of Vladislaus' life, and Vladislaus' parents were sleeping nearby.

It concerned me that he and Vladislaus had this rivalry between them. If it wasn't these circumstances, I'm sure he would have disgraced and degraded Valdislaus so much that the people hearing it would be ready to hurt Vladislaus if he were so unlucky as to meet them.

But I got too tired to focus, and said 'Good night.' He stood and gave me a fiery kiss to dream about, and I walked back to my tent, feeling a bit woozy, as if I had had all of my blood run from my head and back into my body again. As I closed the vent, snow started to fall. I laid down and quickly fell asleep, my lips still burning from the kiss.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We finally made it back home, and since the storm was in its peak now, Ronan was invited to stay till it was over. And invitation he _gladly_ took. The storm would be over in about a week; then he would go back.

The earlier intimidation Valerious had felt towards Ronan was gone, as he talked to the man. Quite a man like himself, when it came to war: pride, honour, tactics, fight skill, weapon skill, God knows what! The only difference, almost, was that Ronan looked better, different and younger than the Elder. At the dinner table, he'd praise Ronan in high heavens, much to Ronan's embarrassment; he was clearly not into that big amount of 'applause', especially not from an (ex)officer of the Elder's position.

It then appeared that the storm might draw out a little, which of course meant that Ronan would stay longer. I couldn't help it, but every time I saw him, looked him in his wonderful chocolate eyes, I felt a suck in my stomach; a good feeling. I was in love with him, that much was sure, I found out, after I had admitted it to my stubborn mind. But at the same time, I felt a surge of guilt as well; Vladislaus. In my heart I had saved all my love for him over seven whole years! Why had I turned my back on that? I was so confused on that point, but then again, it felt so right when Ronan pretended to escort me to my room, but in reality stopped dead in his tracks and pulled me to the side and placed a lustful, though gentle kiss on my lips.

The first time he did so, he didn't push me harshly into an abandoned room, but looked around before taking my hands swinging me, as if in a dance, into a room, closing the door gentle and silently behind us, also locking the door.

He still held my hands as he tried to kiss me normally, but it was rather difficult since he wore a huge grin, which he was unable to put away, at all. He took my face in his hands, his thumbs on my chin. His lips ever so soft, so hard to resist the almost innocent temptation they brought along; so hard to think that he had ever betrayed a woman, _ever_.

When we had made love, it wasn't brutal, or vulgar, it was passion, love, and lust so deep and sensual, though at the same time gentle; _innocent_; _pure_. His touch was gentle, wanting, lustful, deep, and incredibly pleasurable. That alone was, almost, enough to bring me out of mind; thought; sense.

When he inhaled my scent, as he went across my neck to lick, suckle, kiss,_ pleasure_ _me_, his every affectionate movement was intoxicating. Goosebumps made my hair stand on end, a feeling as though having warm water poured over the body, trailing from the top of my head all the way down to my toes, giving a tearing shudder. And the most pleasurable thing of them all was when I could feel his fangs brush my skin, just pricking softly, a tickling sensation.

As his tongue penetrated my playful lips and searched deep, high and low inside my cave, one of his hands left my face and trailed down to my hip where it rested, and squeezed, extracting a small moan from me. He smiled into the kiss again. I leaned in on him, rubbing my body against his, sensually.

I was the one to draw away, as he started pulling at my clothes. I pushed in his stomach and withdrew my lips.

"No, Ronan. They, they mustn't know, not suspect. Please?" I said leaning against the door, hands on my back. A second it looked as thought flames burnt in his eyes, but it was a mere reflection of a torch. He smiled.

"No, you are right, Cassandra," he said, moving back to me.

He kissed me, before turning the key in the lock, opening the door and looking out. The coast was obviously clear as he stepped out side, closing the door afterwards. I leaned against the door a few moments, before going out myself, heading for my room.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He did that on many other occasions, not just after dinner. In the garden, in the corridors, and it somehow never ceased to amaze me, those kiss, that touch.

I found him outside in the snow filled garden, one of the days, standing almost exactly where I stood when I was practising with my sword; a silver blade mixed with a specially forged kind of metal I couldn't remember the name on. In the blade there were blackened lines that twirled around on the plain side of the sword, as if the silver had been put in water for a long time. The hilt was simple because the handle was bound in soft leather, and gave a good grip on the sword, and never once had I dropped the sword, purposely.

In unsheathed it a long way away from him, so he wouldn't expect anyone being there with him. I walked stealthily over to him, planning on jumping out from the bushes next to him. His back was turned and he was dancing around with his sword in his hands, swinging it over his head and around him, twirling, attacking, and paring. I jumped forward to prod him in his back with my sword tip, but he made an ever-so graceful twirl around me, held me around my waist, put his sword to my throat, his head over my shoulder, and next to my face.

"Now, now, Lady. Aren't we feisty?" he said amused, letting me go.

"How did you know?? And how did you know it was _me_?!" I said, sounding incredulous, but also awed.

"Lady, you are not that stealthy, and I recognised you on your _lovely_ scent, or perfume, if you will," he said, his hands on my shoulder, and his lips on mine, as soon as he was finished talking, silencing me from any protests.

"And, what are you doing with a sword?? Can I see it?" he said, releasing me, just taking the sword out of my hands, a smile on his face.

"I was about to practise with it, and _no_, you may not see it. Where are your manners, sir Knight?" I said, taking back the sword from his searching eyes.

"It's very beautiful. You use a sword?? Valerious allows that? Or are you practising out here in secrecy??" he said, snugly, walking around a fight-prepared me.

"Thank you. And obviously, I _do_ use a sword. Valerious has trained me; very well, in fact. I practise out here because the terrain isn't plain and straight. It makes me better, more skilled at outside combat. What couldn't happen if put my foot into a hole under hand-to-hand combat and I got so surprised because I wasn't trained in it?? I could get hurt, if not killed!" I said, persuasion strong in my voice. Once again I realised the thickness of my accent.

"Very good answer, milady. You are _quite_ right. _But_, when is it, exactly, you are planning on using a sword??" he asked, stopping his walk, surveying me with crossed arms.

"When ever it might be I need it, Ronan. Why do you care to know?? You think it is inappropriate for a woman to learn how to defend herself, do you?" I said, a little pinch of anger in my gut, if he was about to answer 'yes'. He looked at me for a while.

"No. I think it is a good idea, but I want to be the one in command," he said, much to my bewilderment. He turned away and left, leaving me very dumbfounded. It took minutes to forget about the thing he had said last. 'Be the one in command,' I thought. What did that mean?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last few days, before the storm was expected to blow over, both the Elder and Ronan got very silent, and the Elder was very deep in thought, most of the time when I saw him. At the same time, Amadae had begun smiling even more than already and questioning me, asking things like 'How are you and Vladislaus coming along?', one which took me terribly by surprise, and 'You and Ronan are getting friendly...?', which somehow sounded more like a statement, than an actual question. Did they know? Maybe... maybe they did, since she knew about Vladislaus and me... when it once was.

The elder had proclaimed that the storm should be over in a day or two, days that could only go by too fast, I feared. Amadae came to my room a few hours before dinner, wanting to give me something, which was stored inside a little wood cabinet. Opening it, the most bedazzling dress was neatly folded into the box.

It was a white dress made of overly sleek silk. Here and there weirdly shaped squares were sewn, which were a kind of lighter midnight blue, except on the top of the dress. Instead of blue squares, they were yellow, and the squares were smaller. The front wasn't low, at all. The sleeves were going all the way down on the hand, and a little ring could be put on you finger to make sure that the triangle on the back of the hand didn't crawl back up. On the triangle, small emerald, sapphire and ruby-beads were sown on, glittering in the light of the candles. From the shoulder, a long silver-white, oval-shaped piece of silk hung. All in all, it looked like something a empress would wear.

"Oh but, Amadae!! I can't wear this, I can't take this! I-"I started.

"Oh don't be silly girl. I can't fit it any more, and if you won't have it, I will have to sell it, or give it away. It's yours if you want it, which, judging by the look in your eyes, I am very sure you do," she said, smiling pulling it out of the box lining it up against me, at my shoulders. I just smiled.

"Thank you, Amadae," I said, a shy smile on my face.

"Oh, it's nothing, my dear. You just try it, and if it fits, wear it at dinner?" she said, taking her part in being shy. About what, though?

"I will," I said, and with that Amadae gave me a hug and went out.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over an hour later, I descended the staircase to the dinning hall. My auburn hair was curling, as if by coincidence, and it hung down over my shoulder, like a water cascade. I opened the door, and immediately thought something was wrong. The table, which I had begun to think was edged into the floor, was replaced with a little round table, ebony wood. On the table a few candles were put, and two plates with some dish I didn't remember the name of.

Ronan was the only other person in the room, besides me. He had turned around at the sound of the door creaking open, and closing again. He looked surprised, and his mouth was open as if he wanted to say something, but his jaw just fell further open, and his face looked like it had a gaping hole. He closed it abruptly, realising what he was doing.

He was clad in a green shirt of sorts, velvet, I think. His pants were black, and they weren't exactly tight, because the material had folds. He had a leather belt around his waist and a pair of buckled boots. I stood indifferent, surprised at the changes of the room, and how much difference the table made from the normal one. At the same time I was wondering what was happening. Ronan seemed to have collected him self, and found his tongue.

"Wh- Why don't you come and sit, Cassandra," he said, gesturing to the chair he stood next to.

I began walking towards him, he pulled out the chair for me and pushed it in again, and I said 'Thank you.' He walked around the table and sat down himself. A second he just looked at me then said,

"Please, eat, Cassandra."

"I will... but what is going on, Ronan," I said, looking around, unnerved.

"Nothing is going on. Just... eat," he said.

An awkward feeling under my skin, I began eating. Why had he arranged this?? What for? Did the Valerious' know? They must have. How would he ever get that other table out of here, if he didn't get the permission? Getting through to the main course, and onto the desert, in silence, was very imperfect. We didn't speak much; he just asked if the food was good. How was I supposed to know? I hardly tasted the food, because I was alert on why all of this was made. He had been watching me for a little while, chewing his food. He made a snort.

"I can't say this went as perfect as I had imagined it, Cassandra. I had wanted to bedazzle you, wanted to make this a night never to forget, because of all the good things that was supposed to take place that we were going to talk about. But there is one way to make this evening memorable, still," he said, getting up from his chair, walking around the table, taking my hand, getting down on one knee, "and the way to do that, would be if you would love me for the rest of your life?" tears formed in my eyes and realisation shot into me, as he pulled something from his pocket; a ring. It was an, almost, microscopic ruby flower with a sizzling diamond in the middle.

I eyed it, nodding frantically, my fingers over my mouth, tears running. He took hold of my ring finger and was about to push the ring on, when he noticed a silver one with a dragon eye-shaped sapphire on. I tried to pull it off, but it was impossible. He just smiled, took my other hand and put the ring on my finger there.

I got up pulling him with me and hugged him, giving him a kiss; many, in fact. I began laughing, as he picked me up by the waist, lifted me off the floor and swung himself and me around. Once done, he put me down again.

"I hate to say this, but you know it, just the same. I have to go back. I have to tell the Order of my decision. I will return as soon as possible, and then, we will marry, yes?" he said, that irresistible smile on his face, so innocent. I nodded, feeling suck in my stomach form my own decision.

"Yes, my love. I will make all the plans, for you, for me; for us!" I said, snugly into his ear as I hugged him to me.

I kissed him again, and this one got a little more serious. He picked me up in his arms and was about to walk to the door, when I twisted in his grip so that he had to put me down on the floor, again.

"Don't be stupid, Ronan! You can't walk with me all the way up the staircase. What about... We can run upstairs. I'll race you for a kiss!" I said, smiling, starting to run.

"Hey! Wait for me!" he said, grinning, following me in great speed.

I didn't know where this sudden childish stamina came from. I felt like I could do anything right now; I was flying at that moment!

Panting I got to my room, first, but it was done to sheer '_luck_' as Ronan tripped in a carpet fold. He came up behind me.

"Right, so where do you want that kiss?" he said leaning against me. I looked at him in mock thoughtfulness.

"My bellybutton..." I said, smiling. So did he, as he knew that the whole dress would have to be lifted off of me for him to get there. I kissed him and pulled him with me inside. He stopped me.

"I thought you didn't want this to happen, for them to know...?" he said.

"Well, you didn't mind it the _last time_, now did you, _husband_? I _thought_ so," I said, as he shook his head and followed inside closing the door after him.

**A/N: hope you like it! and i hope you'll excuse me for taking this long, if you were waiting, cus i've had family problems(still do:'() that needs to be sorted out... now, R&R, any not-so-painful-flames are accepted:D**


	8. Chapter IIXLetters

**A/N: hello all! i just had to put this thing on, fast, before it slipped away... more will come though, so stay tuned!**

**AABuddy ** come now, of course they'll end up together!tsk-tsk... i will go bring them together, and you know what, i was gonna do "something" about Ronan, but i got it figured out already before i started this fic, so if you just keep on being a good reviewer, than i'll be happy!

**The Widow Dracula ** you are SO right!

**Chapter IIX**

Of course I knew that he wouldn't stay any longer, despite our engagement. He had to leave. We stood at the port and we said our goodbyes, Amadae and Valerious looked sadly at me, showing their concerns, and in the same expression showed that they cared, and wanted to help. My reply was a sad smile. They quickly said goodbye, to leave he and I alone.

"Until we meet again, Ronan," Amadae said, letting Ronan take her hand and kiss it.

"Fare well, soldier," came a stiffer 'Goodbye' from the Elder.

"Thank you both, for helping me from the storm, and... this little Lady here," he said, looking playfully at me. Valerious was about to say something, but clearly Amadae had anticipated _something_ and said another quick 'goodbye', and dragged Valerious with her inside, mumbling to him to keep his quiet, and get inside; I smiled, and turned to Ronan.

He walked up to me, took my face in his hands and kissed me, deeply. I raised my hands and clasped mine around his fingers, and kept them on my cheeks, not wanting him to let go. I could feel aggravated tears pressing against my eyelids, as my eyes were shut. I felt annoyed about him having to go back to that stupid Order, and tell them that he was leaving. At that, supposed to be, blissful moment, I couldn't enjoy the love he tried so hard to show to me through this kiss; I was too angry with the Order, almost wishing it wasn't existent.

I noticed he tried to pull his lips and fingers away, as I realised I was squeezing his fingers free of blood, and I wasn't kissing him back, which left him with a peculiar face expression.

"Is there something wrong," he asked looking down at his hands rubbed the blood back into his fingers.

He then looked up and I felt his eyes pierce me, maybe looking a little shook, as I had tears rolling in a still stream down my cheeks, which was hardly noticeable.

"Cassandra...?" he looked at me with concern on my face.

At first, I was thinking 'Why am I crying, WHY?', then I found out that I was scared that he might not be allowed to leave, and sent out on a new mission, to get killed and... on top of all my anger and fear, I felt stupid now. He was not going to be killed; they were going to allow him to marry me, surely? I wiped away my tears and hugged him.

"Nothing. It's nothing... I just," I said croakily into his ear, but he stopped me.

"Cassandra, don't worry. I will be back, and we will be married. And we are going to be happy, have lots of children. Wait for me here, I won't abandon you. I will come back for you, share my love, and life with you. You know why, do you? Because I love you, Cassandra. I hope you know how hard that is for me to say, but at least meant it. At least that is something of mine you will always get from me. I will come back as soon as possible, and if you are too burdened with setting it up, then wait till I come back. I have to go, now. I love you," he added as he swung up on his horse.

I just looked after him as he galloped out of the castle-gate, and a gnawing feeling in the back of my head saying '- and your life,'.

"I love you, too," I mimed, a very chilly breeze brushing over me, making my hair wave in the wind.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

I went upstairs, a kind of panic unleashing itself inside of me. I hadn't quite thought about all of these things that had to be set up, for a wedding to proceed. I went to Amadae for help, and I felt kind of wrong about never having been present at a wedding, before. I was about to knock on the door to her room, as I felt a surge of guilt in my stomach; Vladislaus. I had to write a letter for him, now. I turned around and walked as fast as I could up stairs to my room, and sat down at my table, and began writing.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Vladislaus Dragulia's room in the Vatican 1443:**

_Dear Vladislaus,_

_I have come home, safe enough, so you do not have to worry. My trip home __was nice, and I am happy to be back. And I miss you, you should know. I __hope that you accept my choice of going into engagement with Ronan Kaylan. __I have thought about it, and it is so hard to tell you this but, my love for you is __no more than friendly anymore. Don't blame anything thing on yourself, and __please don't have hard feelings towards Ronan, when I could have said 'no,', __and I didn't. I just want to invite you to our wedding once it stands, and that __I can no longer 'hold' your ring for you. Excuse me, Vladislaus, I am sorry._

_Love Cassandra._

He read inside his head, twice, thrice, not able to believe what stood as black against white, in Cassandra'a _own_ handwriting, telling, explaining, that 2 weeks after she had confirmed her love for him, she was getting _married_. And not just _any_ guy. Oh no, faith could surely _not_ be so kind to him, it _had_ to be _Ronan_. He poured the ring onto the table, and stared at it a few moments.

At that moment, Gabriel entered through the door. He stopped dead as he saw Vladislaus was breathing heavily, as he leant over the desk, a piece of paper on the surface. He crumbled together, and stretched out, rapidly, shrieking. He picked up the desk chair and threw it in Gabriel' direction, and he ducked and rolled over, so as to avoid the impact.

"Calm down, Vladislaus! What ails you?" he asked, getting up.

"I... she..." he stopped a second before he dumped down on the bed. "She's getting married," he said, simply.

"Who is getting married...?" Gabriel asked, picking up the, now rickety, chair, and sat down on it.

"Cassandra is!" he spat, sitting up, pointing frantically at the letter on the table.

Gabriel gestured to take it, and Vladislaus nodded. He read it; Vladislaus could see his eyes zooming back and forth a few times.

"So... what is the problem, Vlad?" Gabriel asked, getting an angry incredulous look from Vladislaus. He slowly took a deep breath, and in Gabriel' eyes, it looked as though he was swelling up.

"I wanted to be... I wanted to... I... oh, Gabriel, you've seen it yourself? I wanted her, she was supposed to become _mine_! She was supposed to love _me_, want _me_! _Crave_ for _me_, as I craved for her, I still do!" he said passionately.

Gabriel was speechless. He was unsure whether or nor to tell his 'part' in this now, or if he was going to be quiet, the whole way through. He decided that the latter would be the best; it would save him a lot of trouble. When he had read it, he had felt happiness on the behalf of Cassandra, for some reason, but he had got and inkling on that maybe he had _made_ her want to get out of this, this thing between Vladislaus, Cassandra, and himself. Maybe she had agreed to get married with Ronan, not because she loved him, for real, but because she maybe couldn't keep it inside her head to sort things out between herself and Vlad. He felt bad for him. He had followed them to the bar, seen them dance; seen them kiss... seen her storm away from _him_. The kiss they had shared, it had meant something to Gabriel before he kissed her, but when she left him the streets, a threat on his neck, the deep, warm feeling he had had for her; it had gone away, simply. But he wanted to tell her how good friends they could be... maybe he should...?

"Gabriel?" Vladislaus said, concerned.

And he looked it too. Gabriel looked into the mirror on the wall, catching his expression: very peculiar, and disturbing. He snapped out of it.

"I... Vladislaus, I don't know what to... to say. I think I'll go to the library, if you... if you need me," he said, sinking.

Gabriel walked out, not even taking note of Vladislaus' reply once it came. He walked down the corridors, stopping at the library. He opened the door, looking inside, finding nobody there, except a few monks, scurrying around, greeting him, but keeping on in their search of what ever. He sat down, put his face on his knuckles and stared into the hardwood table, a crackling noise coming from his right hand; Cassandra's letter. His first thought was to go back and return it, but having it between his fingers now; he wanted to write _her_ a letter. Vladislaus probably didn't want to look at it at the moment; it caused him too much pain, obviously. He copied down the address, since he had never known where Vladislaus lived. Then he wrote her a letter.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

Vladislaus sat long after the departure of Gabriel. He regretted saying anything to Gabriel. He hadn't said it they way he had meant to, but now it was too late. He had to write back to her, tell her how he felt, maybe she would change her mind.

'Cassandra,' he thought. 'Oh, Cassandra. I know I might be late at this but, marry me!...' he continued.

"No, you fool! How wouldn't _that_ sound in her ears?" he whispered agitated to himself.

_Dear Cassandra,_

_I love you, that is undeniable. Why have you left me? Do you love __me no more? Have your love died, so rapidly? My heart, my soul __burns of aching, of loss of you, why have you left me? Do you __hate me? Why have you not _chosen_ me? Why, why, why? Have __you learned that the love you felt for me, the passion you had __wanted to express to me when we would meet again, is nothing __in the cold, hard, and heartless reality? I want to meet up with __you before your marriage, I want you to look me in the eye, __and tell me that I am not the one you love? I want you for what __is real, not like Ronan, who wants you because you were supposed __to marry me... Whatever you do, don't deny me yourself, if you __still feel it. You must now know that you are not holding my ring __for me, but for yourself. Keep it, please. Take it, and remember __I am as the ring; I love you, I am yours to take, so I beg you __to take me. I beg you, love me. Please? If not, then the sun will never rise __again, in my heart. Me, I will vanish if you forsake me. __God, Cassandra, I love you with all my heart, body and soul, you __make my world go round. When I am on the battle field, and feeling __worse than ever, you are the one I think of, for only you can bring me __my oh-so needed light. Why have you gone so courtly with me in you __last letter? What have I done to deserve my world's light go away from __me and leave me in the fearsome darkness, where I cannot breath, or smell, __or touch, or see, or sense, or hear. That's the place where forsaken __men and women are. Will you lead me there? Or have you already...? __Have you led us to the cliff and pushed me over the side, and left __without another glance at my impact-body? Will you leave me to __my doom on the battle field, where I cannot defend myself, and __am scared of every vibration in the unidentified ground, having to __live the rest of my lightless life in the shadows, do I deserve darkness __and despair? Have you chosen another than me, to hurt me? Are you even __still innocent? Has _**he**_ shared his great _**gift**_ with you already? Have you __both touched a sheet together? It would not surprise me. I suppose __that for _**him**_ 'There are resources in everything'. I love you, please __reply me as quickly as possible. _

_I love you,_

_Vladislaus._

&&&&&&&&&&&&

He liked what he had written, Gabriel. He red it through one last time before he would put into an envelope and send it with the outgoing post.

_Dear Cassandra_

_How to say this in proper words, I am not sure I am able of that. __You may take this as an intrusion on your personal behalf, and __that is why I am asking you to bear with me, and make friendship __with me. Please understand my regret of my action that night. __I truly, honestly had not expected it to happen. I thought I too __was in love with you, when all I want now is your friendship, __for I have a feeling that it might turn into something good, and __happy. And if you express liking for my idea of friendship, I __must ask what is wrong between you and Vlad? It does not feel __right, this argument. I am, however, happy on your behalf, __about your engagement with Ronan Kaylan. I mean it in __sincerity, and I am too afraid of what will become of Vlad if __he knew that I think it probably is better for you. He has not __been happy lately, perhaps sensing the way the wind went, __but was too stubborn to follow his intuition. I regret any hurt __you feel, for I think that deep down inside of me, I love you in __a friendly way, and I care for both you and Vlad. I give my __regards to you, and Ronan, and may your future be bright, __if you refuse my friend-offering._

_Gabriel Van Helsing._

He picked the enveloped letter up and went to package office and put it down as a special delivery for 'Van Helsing', which ensured him it would be sent at least the day after.

**A/N: now, R&R!**


	9. Chapter IX

**A/N: hello people!!! i am SO sorry to have kept you waiting, but i was unsure whether this chap was worthy of you, cus it took me so little time to write, and i admit i didn't put much effort to it... and you'll probably notice, and i am SO sorry... please enjoy it the best way you... (and i must say, that it's brilliant that thing with the ruler icon)**

* * *

**Chapter IX**

Waiting for Vladislaus' reply on my letter, I was unable to think, or worry, about the wedding plans, which at the moment was nothing more than a promise; a promise which easily could be broken by the Vatican. I was more worried about whether Vladislaus might think my letter was too court and, perhaps, nothing like my earlier letters, at all.

I knew the battle between them, Vladislaus and Ronan, though I had to say that they were so much alike, at least in my opinion. They both liked to fight on the rugged battlefield, both charming, both had a sense of childish playfulness, and the need to express their feelings, but having a hard time doing so, though there were one or two differences, but they were in some way not that important: Ronan was attractive in a 'high-light' kind of way, and he was of no noble blood. On the other hand, Vladislaus was noble, but he was attractive in a dark brooding way, which only seemed to make him more _alluring_.

* * *

One day, about one and a half week after Ronan had left, a letter arrived. It had the seal of the Vatican on it, and I suddenly felt nausea well up inside of me. It might be a letter telling me that we had formally been denied marriage, or maybe that he had been sentenced to death for fooling around; how was I to know, I hardly knew anything about their rules! Again, I got that out of my head. I was just so nervous and happy at the same time and it all just confused me. It didn't help that I felt annoyed with being so worried. It was just inexplicable to say how I felt. But it all just went away when I saw that I was sent from Gabriel, which baffled me; why would he send me anything? On Vladislaus' behalf, maybe?

I opened the envelope as I got to my room. I pulled out the letter it contained and read to myself a few times.

I was astounded by the letter, as well as relieved. I had not been given any bad or fatal facts on how Vladislaus were, luckily. But he had offered his friendship, and thinking about it, I had to say he was right. It might turn out to something good, because in my heart I already had forgiven him. I wrote him a letter telling him it was accepted, and that he had to come by and that he was welcome to come at my wedding.

* * *

Vladislaus' letter had lain in the desk drawer, for nearly a week now; he had not been able to get it out and send it, but the day that Ronan came in, he couldn't get it going fast enough, even though he was drunk, a lot, to say it mildly. He had a hard time even looking straight. He was almost the only one who saw Ronan come in, because it was in the middle of the night. He took out the envelope with his letter for Cassandra, and the silver-ring.

He staggered through the halls and corridors and nearly stumbled through the door to the mail-room, letting the letter fly from his hands and onto the floor, and him self went rambling into a 7-armed candle holder, which was lit. The five of the seven candles died out in the fall, the other two went rolling onto the table and the floor burning a hole in the material. Vladislaus noticed nothing, he jus left, letting the mail room to burn, feeling his world go entirely black and his memory going blank.

* * *

I had received a letter from Ronan, which took all other worry out of my mind, and entirely replaced it with happiness. The letter said:

"_My dear love, Cassandra,_

_I have wonderful news. I have spoken with the Cardinal, and he is happy of my decision. He even said I had his blessing, and that he would personally marry us in the Vatican's Cathedral if you want it? He was a little concerned about if I had made the right choice, for we have only known each other for a short period of time"_

'Great!' I thought while reading this. 'Ronan is favoured over Vladislaus! By the Cardinal! Dear God.' I read on:

"_How are you anyway? I miss you so indescribably much, and I am almost not able to bear it. I long for you so much; your luscious lips, you beautiful eyes, the smell of your hair, you, your scent, and your beautiful curves." _

At this I blushed furiously, and even though I knew nobody was around, I looked around to get myself assured. I didn't know what to think, I was a little distorted by it

"_I should be able to turn home in 2 weeks or 3, as the Cardinal had had me signed up for a small mission before we left. Don't worry, it's nothing lethal, just a little observation quest, which should take a few days, 4 maybe._

_There has been a little assault on the mail room last night, but by whom I have no idea. And why, leaves the most of the involved order and myself in wonder; why burn the letters, even in our own quarters? The little fire was discovered very late last night, about the time I arrived here. I will send you a letter when I get back, but for now, I must pack up a few things and get going._

_My love, from me to you._

_I love you,_

_Ronan Kaylan._"

* * *

After nearly 3 weeks passing, I had begun wondering why he had not answered my letter, Vladislaus. If he didn't want to talk with me anymore then… it was so hard, still; having to _choose_ between two men I had grown to love, very fast. I wanted them both, though I knew I could not have them.

It was so miraculously funny that just because I had been a few days in Rome, I had gotten so acquainted with two new men, who had put a big part of my normal sense aside, not giving myself space to think about myself, and my feelings for Vladislaus. Now, I had begun thinking I was dreaming, still being that little helpless girl in my father's 'home'. Just dreaming of the life I could have. Of course, that wasn't true. It was impossible for me to plan anything, at all. I didn't want to take any part in planning a wedding. I wanted to go to Amadae for help, but it was so hard to do it. I had gotten so much from her; how could I ask for any more?

What was this marriage thing doing between Ronan and I so soon anyway? We had talked about his family, but if he had a house, a home was a blank side of him. How could they, Valerious and Amadae, comply to our wedding, when we had known each other for 2 weeks before he asked, and we had had s-… we hadn't even talked much together at that time. And on top of that, more anger welled up in me, towards Vladislaus; how can he just ignore me like that? I was confused. It was all so confusing.

There was a knock on the door, and Amadae came inside.

"Hello my dear. I've been wanting to say that, about you and Ronan; I am very happy for you. And I would love to help you make the plans, if you want to me to…?" she said.

I was about to decline when I saw the hopeful glint she had in her eyes. I smiled and nodded.

"I would really love you to help me with that," I said, and she came forth and dragged me out of my room and down the halls, saying she had all these great ideas, and the burden of insecurity, anger and stress lifted off of me, knowing I'd make it all.

* * *

Vladislaus awoke, sometime later than noon, and felt as though his stomach had been flipped, repeatedly, and his head was throbbing as though someone had been using his head as drum. There was a stank about him; one of liquor, which explained why his stomach and head hurt like that. Suddenly, he felt as though someone was pressing him lightly on the soft spot underneath his ears, behind the jaw bone. Then his spit tasted like metal, or blood and he got up and walked to a little bucket in the room, as fast as his head-throb would allow him. He filled the bucked almost to the brim, before it stopped washing out of his mouth like a cascade or waterfall of nearly digested porridge.

Where ever he went in his room now, the thick disgusting smell of vomit mixed with the dung oxygen in the room was every where. He went to his drawer and pulled it out to take a check on his letter, and found not to be in the drawer. He pulled the drawer out, glaring at its empty content. Where was it? Had he sent it yesterday, when he got drunk? He didn't remember anything, come to think of it.

Maybe someone had taken it to the mail room for him, or something. He could of course send a new letter, but wouldn't that truly embarrass him, and make Cassandra feel threatened on Ronan's behalf, if she got two letters with the same content? He tried to remember last night, but it was impossible. All he could remember was that Gabriel had been there to tell him something about him going to pre-scout something, and that he was waiting for a company which was supposed to come in the same night.

He thought a little about it, and then remembered that Gabriel had been there one more time, asking if he wanted to come with him somewhere, but had told him to stay put, and stop drinking, and that Vladislaus himself had said that he couldn't care less for what Gabriel might order, and that he was not nearly done drinking, and that, that was his own business. Now, he wished he had taken the advice. Perhaps Gabriel had taken the letter along for him. He'd ask Gabriel but it could have been anyone. He was too tired to think about it; the memory of last night was so clouded, it was just a blank piece of parchment. He crawled back into his bed, falling asleep immediately.

When he woke again, he didn't bother to ask anybody about the letter, for he had simply registered it in his head that it was sent, personally. Neither did he know about the careless little fire in the mail room. The monks had just assumed the candles had fallen over on their own strange accord. Needless to say, nobody took further notice of it, so why bother telling a war hero as great and grand as Vladislaus Dragulia about a minor 'accidental' fire?

* * *

**A/N: hey, read and review, and i really need you to send me a mail helping me planning a wedding, or how to make progress on the thing... i know what'll happen next, i just don't how to plan the wretched wedding....! please, HELP MEEEEE!!!!**


	10. Author's Notes

**A/N: hey people… ehh, sorry for being such a sissy, but I really feel bad about my latest reviews from someone who called herself "stalker"… I can't concentrate on anything else than that the whole world thinks I'm a pervert for writing R-rated stories, because the Stalker thought I sickened her because I'm ONLY 14 years… but then again, do you have to be older to be "allowed" to write these stories…? I mean, I don't watch porno, or read it, or anything like that! I don't write S/M or lines like "she grabbed his cock…" etc, so excuse ME, misses! And, by the way, exactly HOW many sex-scenes is it I have written, all in all…? I've written like 2 or 3, so I just don't get it?!!? **

**stalker: yes, I can see the spelling is a mistake, but it's out there, but do you go throwing mud in the face of all the other writers, cus they're ALL bound to go down the wrong-spelling road, if you were thinking otherwise….! if you didn't like "A flicker in the dark", why the HELL did you go read any of the other stuff, huh? And what is it that you want to gain from saying I stink?? If you don't like it, don't read it!! Other people actually DOES like it, and geeez, I'm savin' all you GOOD people's reviews on my email, cus it really makes me shine when I read them! I'm content with you liking, so babe, if ya don't like it, piss off! Oh, and stalker, since you're such an expert, why don't you write to me under your frickin' penname, and fight like lass, girlie? And how old are you, even? Very grown up to slash my name with you pity words; what good they do! HA!!**

**My dear fans,(who are fans or however to put it), you rock so bad for being such good reviewers! I LOVE YOU!!!**


	11. Chapter X

**A/N: hello there people...!! damn my computer!! the reason why that last chap was some BIIP was because our system at home had broken down and i couldn't save the chapter prperly and blah blah blah!! here the right one, though i had to re-write it... enjoy!**

Dracula's-Poison **funky it is! i did what you said with this chap, so i hope it'll do for you**

Knnyphph **ahh, you review certainly made my day...!**

audrey **yes, you are totally right!! what about vlad? well, he's insanely jealous, but you can read all about that in the following chap, my dear... oh, and as i wrote the last of this i just felt like making ademon jump in the window and kill him off... he has to DIE!!! it's much more fun to write vlad!! die, ronan, die!! but i hope it's only 2 or 3 chapters tops before he takes on his heavenly flight...**

Sarrin ** i think i already told you that it was some junk that i had written... forgive me!!!**

**Chapter X**

As days went past, I got more and more cross about Vlad not replying my letter, that I had a hard time taking care of the wedding plans. But being helped by Amadae, and soon Ronan as well, the wedding plans got planed as good as possible. I had decided not to tell Amadae that I was unhappy because of Vlad, and she had of course written to him and he had written back, telling her how crossed he felt, and how much he really would like to not participate in this 'thing' as he so graciously put it. He had also told Amadae to tell me, that he was deeply sorry for not being able to be there, but he had an important assignment and blah blah blah! Ronan, of course, almost seemed more delighted that Vlad seemed not to be able to come. He even got a weird sprinkle of 'cosiness' after hearing it.

The wedding was surprisingly fast planned, and we had soon ordered everything, and still Vlad was not accessible, because, suddenly, he _was_ on an assignment, and didn't write back, until after the wedding; about 2 months later!

&&&&&&&&&&&&

I opened my eyes, as I sat up in bed, looking around.

"I'm getting married today…!" I whispered hoarsely, and cleared my throat.

I looked to my side, thinking I would find my soon-to-be husband, but remembered that he was in a different room, probably getting up, preparing himself for marrying… "Me," I said, once again, hoarse, this time not bothering to cough. Then I remembered that I was neither in my own room, but a small but pretty room. The walls where creamy-white, and the floor had carpets, even a little rug! There were a few pieces of furniture there; a chintz-covered chair, a carved desk, where there was a little heap of paper neatly placed with a long feather-quill next to it. It also had to small drawers which were carved each with a little lion. Underneath this, the rug was put. The bed I occupied was a beautiful piece of work, too. The bed's corners were tall, carved poles, and when I had tried to fall asleep the night before, I kept banging my head into one of them.

Then four people entered; three maids from the manor in Vaseria, where one of them was Koloretta, notlooking a day older and Amadae. Amadae carried a box in her hands, and I watched it intently as she put it down in a chair, goggling at me.

"Dear _God_, child, what are you still doing in bed?" she said exasperated.

I fell back in the bed, squirming, which made the maids smile and Koloretta laugh.

"Come girlie. We must be done with you," she said smiling.

"Oh, I slept so well, and my dreams were so good that I didn't want to leave them be," I said, smiling, as I stretched and yawned. Then they all grabbed me and pulled me up and out of the bed, ready to fix me up.

"Well, my dear, I am far from ready myself, so please, endure yourself with these ladies, for I can assure you, they will take more than good care. See you in the Cathedral," she said, leaving me with a smile on her lips.

"Alright, first, you take a bath, then we go further from there," Koloretta said, the second Amadae had left. "Anja, go get a bath ready for the mistress," she said, smiling broader.

"Boy, do I have a surprise for you. Now, stand here!" she said.

They put me in the middle of the room, before they opened the box. I stared, for what felt like minutes, surprised to find _this_ dress in this boring box. A dress which I, without mentioning it to Amadae of course, had been peaking at from time to time, after seeing it, once.

The quickly put me into the dress from the box, that I felt so fond of; made of silk, it had small puffy shoulders, fitting sleeves, that made a kind of triangle on the back of my hands, and I could put a white milky-coloured crystal ring on each of my middle fingers to stop the sleeves from crawling back up my arm.

As I was about to put it fully on, I had the dress pulled slightly back down as one of the maids thought I should wear a corset beneath the material, and I had to agree. They went behind me to lace both the corset and dress up, and then sat me down on the chair and started working on my hair and my face, using make-up, and loads of hair-clips.

As they did my hair, I just kept on starring at the reflection of the dress in the mirror. The bosom was made in a U-shape, showing some cleavage, but not in an improper way, at all. The bosom's U-shape edge was lace trimmed, and as I looked along the dress, I saw that there were only laces on the U-shape, a few places on the sleeves and on the abdomen. The rest had a gleam-shine, almost like pearl-like gossamer. And the best part of it, was, that around on the dress' top and skirt, gleaming stones of diamonds and pale emeralds, -rubies and -sapphires glinted like small suns-stars.

Personally, Koloretta took care of my hair, only wanting the maids' to braid a few, small locks. Then she would put them into a filtered ball of sleek and braided hair and let my slight curly bangs hang down to frame my face.

"Maria, go get the choker in my bag," Koloretta said.

Maria came back with a choker of miniscule pearls on a single string with a small, tear-shaped ruby on. The ruby resembled a drop of blood, because it was not see-through, as if mist had engulfed its midst. This beauty she put around my neck.

On my fingers I had chosen only two rings; the one was the engagement ring I had gotten from Ronan and the other a simple silver ring I had been sucked directly to on market, because it reminded me instantly about my mother. Why; I don't know. It was a simple silver ring with a common stone, which looked like blue marble, though it probably wasn't.

"Oh, mistress, look at the time!" Anja said with a light-toned Romanian accent.

Koloretta, quick but carefully, put my veil on, and then they all puffed me out the door and into the corridor, where the sun that shone through the mosaic-glass, coloured the floor and the corridor's passers by. They led me to one the Cathedral's side rooms, as were their orders.

Here, Anja and Maria left, though Koloretta awaited the catholic, marital music together with me, and I felt like she was trying to share my burden of nervousness and anticipation and for that, I was very thankful.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

Shortly before the music started, I was a little unhappy that we, Ronan and I, were not going to get married in the church of Vaseria. But Ronan had insisted that there was no other way, and we _had_ been invited by the Cardinal Charram himself, so doing otherwise, would be rude. But still, even though I had wanted to please Ronan, a feeling of that I would miss something by being married here, lingered in my mind. Though at this point, Valerious walked up to me.

"May I have the pleasure of giving you away, my dear child?" he asked, smiling, offering me his arm. I nodded.

"Yes please," I croaked, and cleared my throat. "I would do well with some assistance to get the whole way up that very long aisle. How many people are there, exactly?" I asked, trying to smile properly.

"About a hundred, or maybe more. Remember that there are also a few local people, but at the party in about a week, thirty five, or more people will come, if you don't count the hundred in there, in!" he said, winking.

This was certainly _not_ what I needed to hear, and I hoped that he was only joking.

About every thought, except "walk!", was swept from my mind as the music started shortly before the doors opened.

"Oouh, wait! The flowers!" Koloretta exclaimed, giving me a bundle of lilies with a silkribbon around; dark blue of course.

I discreetly looked around at the crowd, and found that he had not been joking, to say the least. It seemed like more than a hundred people sat in there, and about every man wore _fine_ clothes, and women wore splendid dresses, which meant that practically, everyone was a guest. Almost half of them I didn't know, and some I'd never seen before in my life, but they all sat there, wiping away crocodile tears for a person they didn't know. Unless they knew Ronan, but I doubt that his family was of fifty people, and that they all had time to come.

Then it hit me. Among all of these pity people I felt dislike for right there, the two most missed ones where not there to be seen; Gabriel and Vlad. I felt like crying because of that.

Suddenly, I felt as if someone had stepped on the dress, and my heart rate got up and I thought I was going to fall, but Valerious had taken noticed, and grabbed me without anybody taking notice. I then noticed he was glaring at a moving person which I didn't get to see.

I got closer and closer to Ronan, as I thought that the person might have been Vlad. Hopefully it was.

However, I immediately regretted that thought, as I felt guilt's tight grab around my heart at the same time Ronan offered me his arm, and we walked the last few metres.

My attention was not in this world right then, but as Ronan was loosing height as he dropped slowly to his knees, pulling me along with him, I went back the Grand Cathedral of the Vatican in Rome.

I was getting annoyed with myself for thinking so much, being so much in doubt right there. I suddenly thought that this was all wrong, despite the fact that Ronan was giving up some freedom by marrying me. I could feel he loved me, but the sadness of neither Vlad nor Gabriel not seeming to be there, made a few tears roll down my cheeks, unnoticed. The Cardinal Charram gave his blessing in Latin and proceeded to ask us _the_ question.

In a matter of minutes, we had both said 'I do' and then we drank from the same ornate silver-cup, which held the most distasteful wine I ever had. And judging by the look on Ronan's face, it wasn't really his cup of tea, either.

"Arise, children," Charram said ceremoniously, and Ronan and I got up.

"The sacred reunion is now complete, and I now pronounce you, husband and wife…" his words were drowned out as I looked into Ronan's chocolate orbs, which consumed me the only way another pair of eyes could; dark blue, as the deepest ocean.

"… kiss the bride," Charram finished, with a satisfied smile of his performance, as he lowered his arms.

Ronan lifted the veil, and leaned in to kiss me. It was not very deep, just few seconds time, but it was good nonetheless. As he pulled away, it wasn't Ronan, but Vlad who smirked at me the only way he knew how to.

I made a sharp intake of breath and blinked my eyes, just as the "exit"-music started. Back on was Ronan, looking confused.

"Something wrong?" he asked as we walked back down the aisle.

"What? Me? Oh, no, nothing," I whispered back shaking my head slightly.

We continued to walk and ended up at our quarters with a few people from back home. We packed up, and went to dinner at the Cardinal's grand house.

Not the most interesting, and I just wanted to go to bed, and Ronan quickly followed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&

Ronan entered after me, closing the door.

"'Evening, my love," he said huskily into my ear, as he put his arms around me.

He kissed my neck, and I sighed loudly; annoyance.

"Have I done something wrong?" he asked, kissing my hair, soundly. I sighed loudly again.

"No. Well, yes. I am tired-"

"I can cure that," he said suggestively.

"- and annoyed. I'm sorry Ronan. I can't believe Gabriel didn't come-"

"You should expect nothing less, when he's the best friend of that war-fool-"

"Hold your tongue, or you'll say something you'll end up regretting-"

"Why? Are you going to say something _bad_ about me, to the idiot who wouldn't come to his own friend's wedding?" he said, mockingly.

"You know, some respect for me would make me very delighted. I am not some girl you just happened to pick up from the street-"

"Hey!"

"I am your _wife_!"

"Hey, I am not some _gigolo_!! Never been one, either! And just so you know, I _did_ notice you're my wife. My most beloved wife, so to say… are you deliberately picking a fight with me??"

Silence.

"I don't know… Maybe…" but I decided that ending this sentence would not be wise.

"Maybe what?" he said softly.

"Nothing. I… I'm just tired," I said, rubbing my temples, as I sat down on the bed.

"And homesick," I whimpered after a while.

"Sorry, what?" he asked, while pulling of his shirt, showing off his upper body; his _muscular_ upper body.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just glad that we're going home tomorrow. _Together_," I purred the last word, getting up and starting to kiss his shoulder, which made him stop his doing, which was pulling of his shoes.

He kicked them off and turned around, gently taking hold of my jawbone from underneath, and pulling it up towards him. He looked into my eyes shortly before he kissed me.

"I'm… sorry," I mumbled in between kisses.

He pulled away.

"Don't be. You were stressed. If you ask forgiveness, there is none to forgive," he said, making me smile, and warm up my heart.

He kissed me again, very deep and very passionate, before pulling away to pull off his trousers. Then he reached around me to unlace my dress with very skilled fingers.

"Ouh, a corset, Cass? That was much uncalled for, you know. Who ever got that bright idea?" asked, unlacing the dress, trying to look serious, but the corners of his mouth was twitching, giving him away. I smiled vaguely.

"Anja," I said, hugging him around the neck, taking in his scent; a little musky, but fresh, nonetheless.

"Hmm. Good. Had it been a man I would have duelled him," he said, still twitching.

"Aren't we feisty?" I said, as the dress dropped to the floor, and Ronan flung the corset onto a chair.

"M-hmm," he mumbled, kissing me, realising, with a sigh, that I was wearing yet another dress underneath.

"God curse the person who made up all these stupid accessories!" he said, hugging my body to him, as his tongue caressed mine.

"Goodnight, my sweet angel. Tonight, you're _mine_."

**A/N: hope this was much better!!!**


	12. Chapter XI

**A/N: hey people... sorry, but watching "Phantom..." 3 TIMES in the cinema, getting all crazed up about buying the soundtrack, and been using a lot of my time playing the music for "Treasure Island" and having an completely empty head, as taken up a lot of my time, and i'm sorry if i have kept you waiting...**

Sarrin - **No, she most certainly DOES NOT see Vlad in Ronan... but she wish that it WAS Vlad... **

**thx for all the reviews...**

**Chapter XI**

Not even centuries of anger, betrayal and uncontrollable wrath could surpass the molten feelings within Vladislaus Dragulia as he sat watching over a little cave which had the strangest sounds coming from it. This was his assignment.

The mere state of the situation angered him in more ways than one. And of course, he was even more cross with Ronan than he had been in the past. It went beyond hatred towards Ronan, when something reminded Vlad of him. And then this insane lust to se blood splatter from any open wound would overtake Vlad every time Ronan came to mind.

All this alone-time gave him plenty of moments to contemplate his fate, which made him feel the bloodlust. This made him think of numerous, no, _countless_ ways of murdering Ronan. The most savage and bloody way would bring the most satisfaction; however, going down the intellectual line would deprive him of the war courts guilt-searching eyes.

Going savage in his mind, he wanted to bite Ronan, like a mad, ferocious dog with rabies. Vlad thought this biting business through for quite a while inside his head, and quickly decided that he would start with Ronan's face; his _pretty_ face. First, he would bite a chunk of his cheek off. Then, perhaps, he would proceed to break his nose with his hand and then bite it to the bone. He would through roughly molest Ronan; little by little. Oh, and Ronan was certainly not going to be "long gone" if this came to pass, oh no, _this_ would be _cause of Death_. Vlad sat so deep in thought about more vulgar actions, as more and more distasteful pictures slid past his inner eye, that he hardly noticed that his dinner had wanted a permanent return from his stomach. He graced the earth before him with different, still undigested foods. He felt sick about himself; so surprised at his own repulsiveness.

"I will NOT be a freak of _Love_," he whispered hoarsely, as he drew shallow breaths.

Another cascade of vomit flew out his mouth. He felt so disgusted with him self. He lay back down from his crouching position, and started getting some kind of sick-"spasms". His whole body shook from cols, or a short-termed fever that made him produce a thin layer of cold sweat over his visible skin. Then Gabriel came to mind. Vlad felt betrayed when Gabriel had left for his dear Cassandra's wedding, and the feel of betrayal still had its clammy hands on him. And even though Vlad might not be prepared to admit it, he was insanely jealous of Gabriel, and even Ronan. She was so innocent in all of this; like a little white lamb between the dragon's teeth. As the cold-spasms had another go at him, his thoughts travelled back to Gabriel. Silently, Vlad wept for himself, as he pulled his blankets tighter around his shivering body.

* * *

Soon, we were home. I could smell it in the air. The smell of burning logs, the smell of something sweet melded with the fiery wind of Transylvanian Carpathians. The look of untouched snow on the mountain tips. And though I always felt a welcoming sense towards the manor, a shadow was looming over it, and I was looking mystified at it, when I felt a hand close over my own, giving it a squeeze. I turned around to see Ronan kissing it. I smiled, and he returned it. I turned my face away to see watch the manor again, as a horse passed by, blocking my view. I was suddenly annoyed with not being able to ride a horse myself. I had a strange feeling of imprisonment about being in the carriage, and truth be told, I'd rather be riding up front, instead of sitting in here in these sassy frocks.

The door, however, was soon opened, and I as I took the hand of the man who had offered it, my heart skipped a beat, because it had been Gabriel who had so nonchalantly helped me out.

"Oh sweet mother of Jesus! Gabriel! I thought you wouldn't… thought that you couldn't come?" I said.

"I was there, briefly. I just had to watch you and I had to leave quickly. It was I who nearly made you fall in the church," he smiled.

I was a little awed that he stood here. I had somehow begun to think he had stayed away because of Vlad. Without more consideration, I embraced him as Ronan stepped out behind me. We walked to the front doors, and opened them to find a figure in there, back turned to us. It was Vlad of course, and my spirit soared, and I gaped.

"Ahh, Cassandra, and company…" he said turning, and I alone walked towards him, and heard him say "and traitor…" with his lips hardly moving. His expression changed to that of happiness, as he spread out his arms to embrace me, and I nuzzled against it, as if it this place would not be home without this man in my arms.

"Your guests… are soon here, then?" he said, pulling away, to hold me by my arms.

He was handsomer than ever, even though he looked a little bit pale.

"Yes, soon. The ball starts tonight. The servants have been warned and should have nearly everything, except the decoration, ready for tonight," I said, before lowering my voice. "Why didn't you come? You could have declined that mission. I heard that it was nothing big. Why didn't you come?"

He looked like he was in a tight spot. He looked from me, to Ronan, who had walked forward as well, and Vlad's parents right behind him, all with a smile, except Ronan, of course. He looked back at me.

"We will have to discuss this later Cass. Not now," and he was right.

He greeted his parents, and seemed happy to get their acceptance of whatever things he had been dreading. I thought of a loving father and mother, welcoming home their son. Now the decoration had to start, and Amadae agreed, but she sent me to my room to get fixed up for tonight. She had lots of ideas she wanted to try out, and so I surrendered to her maids again.

* * *

It was grand party, but I felt I wasn't able to enjoy it fully. My mind was far away, and I would very early want to go to bed. I felt bad, and sick. Maybe it was just nerves, but I was very tired, and retired very early. Ronan kept at it. As the English would say, he had his 'mates' over. They were very tiring, and didn't seem very sophisticated. Almost like some teen brats. I didn't even want to discuss with Vlad why he hadn't come. But that was inevitability, as I passed a balcony before the steps to the second floor.

"Cass?" he said, very briefly.

An almost agitated feeling overcame me, but I turned around, and walked through the glass door to talk to him. Or rather, let him talk to me, for I was not very respondent.

"Yes, Vlad?" I enquired, feeling dizzy.

"I'm sorry for not being there. Well no, that's a lie… I would rather than to see you marry yourself to… to waste yourself on him-"

"What! What are you talking about? 'Wasting'…?" I said, turning my back to him, gazing down from the balcony. I didn't want to listen to this.

"You do, Cass. You've got the appeal; the riches; the sweetness. And if you don't get to spend yourself, I fear that he'll get to waste you first, before you get the chance. I can wait… I think," he said, and I saw him leaning over the fence, staring deeply down into the ground below.

"What is it you speak about, Vladislaus? Why should he _waste_ me? What is you are waiting for?" I asked, dizzy still, but curious.

"I am- oh God, Cass!" he said, catching me before I crumbled the whole way to the floor.

I felt really tired. I released myself from him and stood up by myself.

"There's nothing. I'm tired. Goodnight," I said, waiting for his reply. He searched me with an expression of slight concern. It hardened a little as he said:

"Goodnight," and left the scene. I dragged myself upstairs, and threw myself in bed.

**A/N: RR, easy with the flames...**


	13. Chapter XII

**A/N: hello people! quick update, huh?... ahh, well... Ronan... you _really_ don't like him, huh? haha, ya know, me neither, i can't stand the bloke... btw, 1000 points to the one who will pick up the reason as to why i have shortly presented you all with an officer from the "english office", who is scottish...:P... **

**Chapter XII**

I began hating the word and meaning of "expecting". Once we, Ronan and I, were married, I had stupidly enough _expected_ that he we would be spending "quality time" with one another, but he went back to Order. He was with me till we got our own place, some small castle I remembered having spent vacations at with Amadae and Valerious when I was younger. It was in Poland. I was never much for geographic, and I couldn't remember the name of the town. I think it was Warszawa and even though I lived there for about 16 years, I didn't get very acquainted with the surroundings. I missed taking a ride up around Vaseria, or taking a "field trip" to the Carpathians.

Ronan did of course come home from time to time, and the time was spent well, but it always left me with a hole in my heart, because he was never really there. And I eventually thought of moving to Rome, but he said that he wouldn't want me to move there because of him, and that it was too much danger to me.

After a few years I always felt I'd lose him to the wars and the battles, and I felt desperate to bear him a child. And we tried, and we tried. And we failed miserably. I started thinking that there was something wrong with me; that I had lost the capability to have children, because of my father. I went to the doctor to get checked, whether it was impossible for me to get children or not, and I wanted so desperately to hear him say I could, and was overwhelmed with relief when he said, that nothing could have been more able for me. I told none of this to Ronan, and waited patiently for us to get pregnant, but I was long before we did.

Vlad started contacting me again, as if he had never been showing his obscene jealousy. He said he had started taking great interests in Opera, and classical music. I was a little sceptic about it though. I wouldn't have guessed Vlad to like it. But Ronan said he had heard Vlad was ascending Operas, and had even paid a few people, who were able to play this kind of classical Vlad had suddenly taken deep interests in, to play for him occasionally. Vlad also suddenly wrote to me about his liking for drama, and he was trying out for a little part in some little piece, and he had been picked and chosen for one of the lead roles. I smiled a lot over these letters. It was almost like when he sent me letters when we were younger, when he told about the monsters he defeated. I felt a little proud of him.

He did more things I would never have thought of him doing. He apologized to Ronan for past years behaviour. He regretted it, and said he wanted peace, but surely not friendship. He was just _tired_ of fighting. A little confused of the situation, Ronan had taken Vlad's hand and shaken it. Ronan had been a little weary towards Vlad in the start, but it seemed as though it would last, and this _truce_ went on for quite some time; years in fact.

I had sat there, alone, in our bedroom, staring out the window, wondering what Ronan would do, if I let myself sent in an application. I doubt he'd like it, if I had. He had that thing about him; he wanted to be the man in the house, _when_ he was in the house. And I was thinking of it specifically because I had both seen women bearing the resemblance to the clothes the men wore, these long jackets and what looked like breeches. And Ronan had mentioned it a couple of times too. Anyway, I tried to put the thought of it behind me, even though the thought sounded more and more…_ alluring_. I was feeling annoyingly defiant, and it somehow drove me, but I kept being passive, and it all just annoyed me.

Ronan had talked about that he had a feeling that something was coming up soon, in the nearest future. He said that a demon had a few years back, had begun gathering up some fellow demons and had clashed down on some different, small corporations of the Order. Up and till the last few years, it had not been a big problem; the corporations were easily fixed, and the groups were easily hunted down and killed or punished. It was vaguely intercepted, when the Council of the Order heard of the demon had excelled hugely, and he had been planning it obviously, because he had an average-large army on his side. And as those years perished, it showed Ronan had been right about them going into _one_,_ final _battle. Then he, The Elder and Vlad, among others of course, were "invited" to the boot camp, to await their orders there. Not that the Order didn't have people enough, just not experienced people enough, so they were called upon.

And they moved around europe for quite a few months, and Ronan had repeatedly sent letters home, about how he wished he was with me, rather than being so close to the field. He said he liked the fight, the singing of swords all over, but he disliked lying in his tent, having to fear to get slaughtered in sleep. His hairs stood on end, he said, and shivers went down his back. He wouldn't tell others, because he felt he'd then be looked at as coward, which would be a disaster, because he thought he had to "be strong for the men". I smiled at that, though. I was just looking forward to see him. He had said he'd be back here in a few weeks, because he had to make a stop at the Order first. I, however, decided I would be waiting for him at the Order Headquarters, just to surprise him. I missed him so, even though he had taken a quick brake 3 or 4 weeks ago, because they made camp not far from Poland, and he was home, briefly, for 2 days before going off again. I was soon packing, and ready to leave. I knew he would be back at the Order in 2 weeks or so, but I went off just the same.

On my way there, I felt very tired. And on the ship I felt even sicker, and I vomited the whole trip to Rome. I had a growing hope inside of me, deep down. I had the feeling that perhaps _something_ were growing in me. My last thought before I fell asleep on the bunk was, that maybe Ronan and I had gotten lucky…

* * *

**Hungary, outskirts of Budapest, 1459, late spring.**

If one had been around, like the five thousand men who lay snoring in tents, you would have thrown up by the smell of the camp. The reason to that was that the soldiers had camped on their latest battlefield, and so the bodies of the fallen, both men and demon alike, lay spread across the mould fields. At dawn, they had prepared to break up, and go further north, because if the sun hit the bodies, that smell, which would have occurred, would have been truly horrible for a human. And it certainly wasn't a sight for sore eyes; bloody, amputated limbs lay about, and weird colours from demon blood stained the ground. The pack of a couple of thousand men marched on and knew their destination.

Vladislaus rode his black stallion with a kind of stuck-up but admirable pride. He galloped ahead and back again, revelling in the thought of battle was soon again upon him. Behind those green hills, a new fate would be made, and re-made, and he was soon going to swing his long great sword, and hit those who were worth less than the dirt beneath his boots.

"What do ya' reckon Vladi?" said an officer from the station in Great Britain. His name was Marsters, and he was Scottish, which his accent plainly stated. "Behind thos' hills?" Marsters continued.

"Yes," said Vlad, who had stopped his horse, to look out at the scenery before him; a horde of demons, different shapes and sizes. They would soon be fought to an end, and his fingers itched to swing his sword.

"Be prepared," Ronan had come between Vlad and Marsters.

"I always am," Marsters said happily, as if he was not really minutes from combat, but at some family dinner in Scotland.

The Elder came up behind them and gave them a small pep-talk.

"Tha' be Valerious the Elder, yeah? Should've remembered me skirt then," he said with a grin in Vlad and Ronan's direction, which they replied.

The battle rose, and the front soldiers stepped to the side, or went down on one knee, as archers pulled back the string of their bow, and let I slip from their fingers. The demons let their "archers" pull out the crossbows, but hit very few, as their range was not long enough. Instead, they started charging forward, and were hit by the archers as an easy prey. It was now a time for fighting, and the Order's soldiers stepped forward. First, the "marching band" and then the people on own private horse, which entitled Vlad, Ronan, Marsters, The Elder, and at least five hundred other men. Mystically, foot-men began pulling the horsemen of their horses and swiftly chopped off their heads, or put the sword through the heart.

The demons pulled back to the forest from which they had emerged, and as the men followed, they saw silhouettes of demons which were skin coloured, but in a greasy, see-through way, so they could see the veins pumping beneath. They had thin, slender hands and long fingers, which were very knobbly, and the nails were small claws, with a pointy end. To describe their heads was impossible, but they had big red eyes, and looked crazy, but in an alluring way, which made them chill. An archer started shooting at them, and some of the would-be insane men, came back to reality, and stopped killing their own. They killed the tree demons, and fought the last battle right there. Some lesser demons, brainless and very stupid, wailed loudly in a screeching way, and ran for the forest, to hide there.

"I'll get 'em," Marster made moves to climb his horse and set after them, but Ronan put a hand on his shoulder.

"No, John. You've fought more than enough. Go to the infirmary when it is put up. I will go," Ronan said, and sheathed his sword and jumped up on his horse's back. Vlad followed up on his own horse.

"Two is better than one, _friend_," Vlad said, eyeing Ronan with a friendly sincere expression. Obviously only Ronan took notice of the sarcasm in Vlad's words, but kicked off his horse into the woods, and Vlad easily followed.

They caught up with the idiotic demons. There were 13-14 cowering around, standing still as if paralyzed. Vlad lounged forward on his horse and started killing.

"One… two," Vlad mumbled, but Ronan caught the words, and the meaning; a challenge of who would get most demons before ones sword, before the source was used, and Ronan, prideful, accepted.

They rode around the little clearing, and then they were both counting on six demons each; only 2 to go. Ronan jumped off his horse and charged forward, swiftly killing his seventh demon. Vlad's was running around frantically, and he had trouble with killing it, especially on horseback. The demons ran past Ronan's horse and it whinnied and scraped the forest floor with its hooves. Before Vlad could severe the demons head from its body, Ronan had jumped up, rolling over his horse, and had successfully split the demons head in two. Vlad's horse stopped right in front of Ronan, and stood sideways. Ronan looked gleefully up at Vlad.

"That was eight, _friend_," he breathed, and heaved himself up like he had just the most heroic thing in the world, and he revelled in Vlad's annoyed and somewhat disgusted look, as he descended his horse.

The silence was broken, however, when a fifteenth demon, which was much larger than the other stupid ones, came out roaring frantically, scaring the horses away. They ran back into the same direction from which they came. Vlad swung his sword mightily, and the head slid off the demon, as Ronan stabbed it through the chest. It fell heavily to the ground with a loud thump, as its blood poured out from the neck, drawing out a great smell, which was beyond compare to any horrid smell. The stood panting a moment, searching each others faces, looking at the cuts and blood in their faces. Ronan noticed that Vlad's hair was not pulled back, but hung around his face like a curtain.

"Let's go back," Ronan said finally, walking away from Vlad. He walked past some trees, and had he looked around, he wouldn't have been able to see neither Vlad nor the clearing.

"Wait, it seems I've forgotten something," Vlad said suddenly through the trees, which made Ronan stop in his tracks.

He walked back, out of pure curiosity, only to find Vlad, looking into the ground, his great sword, which went from his abdomen to the ground, had its peak placed in a gap between Vlad's feet. His hair hid his face completely, unless a light breeze swept by, and he suddenly seemed so horribly pale. Ronan came closer, feeling a little concerned somehow.

"Valerious, is something-" Ronan made gasping, choking noise in his throat as his chin fell.

Vlad had swung up his sword, and let it enter Ronan through his stomach, and processed into the back ribs, and he smiled evilly as he heard the bones crack. He pushed it further in, hearing bones snap in Ronan's back, and he to his knees, realization fresh in his mind. Vlad smiled maliciously into Ronan's face, and gave an evil smirk, as he took a good hold of his sword, and started wrenching it around, bringing Ronan into further agony. He screamed in agony, and Vlad tried to enjoy his pained cry, but instead felt shivers go down his back. Ronan made a choking noise and spat blood out on the ground. Blood blossomed down his tunic underneath his light armour. Vlad tilted his sword into a horizontal line, and made Ronan fall backwards, and he was dead before he hit the ground. Vlad pulled out his blade, and cleaned it. He messed up Ronan's body badly, to make sure that the officers wouldn't expect him.

Vlad ran through the bushes and trees, and found his horse standing before him, the grim stuck in some branches. Ronan's horse had just stopped because the stallion had. Vlad took the spare horse to its master, and it put its mule and whinnied. Vlad smiled and climbed his horse, and went to give his explanation to the officers, and his father. He would tell them, that they had been surprise-attacked, and that big tub of lard in there, had grabbed Ronan and tore at this stomach, first ripped a big hole in the armour and tunic, and had then successfully made a cut in his skin, and his intestines had plummeted out through the cut. Anyway, he was dead.

And Vlad played his part, and was believed, because everyone knew he had begun to befriend Ronan, and nobody even suspected, or even had the ridiculous idea that it might have been Vladislaus Dragulia, high ranged officer of the Holy Order, Son of war-hero Valerious the Elder.

* * *

**Vatican of Rome.**

I had been waiting for a week or so, for Ronan to come here, and I expected that I would probably have to wait another week. And more days passed, and then, one night I had a very restless night.

I had horrid nightmares with people without, no, _murderers_ without faces who killed me, and Vlad, and Ronan. Everybody I cared for. My stomach was giving problems too. And it wasn't just aching plainly; it was excruciating pain in both my stomach and lower parts. I vomited all night and that night was sleepless and oblivious to me. When I woke up, there was blood on the sheets, on my legs, between my legs, and felt I just wanted to die.

I knew where that blood should have belonged. It was to be the first blood coursing around my unborn baby's body, and everything around me told me I had aborted it. I lay for days in a new bed, resting, but not really resting. I lay down all day, but I hardly slept, and just wanted to cry all the time. I wanted Ronan to be there, now, to hold me, and tell me everything was going to be alright, even though I would know it was a lie.

When the week ran out, the first groups had come in, and I stood waiting everyday outside the Vatican, waiting for Ronan to come on his horse. But he never came on a horse. He was on a bier, pulled by his own horse. Perhaps he had been hurt too badly to ride himself, I didn't know until I saw the heartbreaking reason. He was dead and I was crying all over him. It was almost as confusing as the night of my abortion. I remembered I was pulled away from my dead husband's body, and embraced by Valerious, who held me for a long time, and I sobbed and cried into his shoulder, holding tightly on to him. There were no words between us; he just sat rocking me back a forth. At some point, I changed into a new embrace, into arms that hadn't held me for several years, and these belonged to Vladislaus. Seeing him made me cry harder, and he sat, as Valrious, and stroked my hair. He seemed terribly sorry about what had happened. Then he held me from him and searched my face, and his brows furrowed in sincerity.

"I am sorry. I am sorry for you and everything that has happened," he said suddenly, wiping away flowing tears with a thumb. "I couldn't have helped him, Cass. The demons picked him up and its way with him. I severed its… I killed it, before it pulled him apart. I am sorry, deeply sorry-"

"Don't. please stop apologizing. It's enough that I am sorry, you don't need to be too. Please be strong, Vlad… for me," I said, entwining my fingers with his. I lay down on his lap, and pulled his arm around me.

Suddenly, I found myself wondering where Gabriel was in all of this, so I asked Vlad about it. He said that Gabriel had begun taking on big, loner assignments, getting sent all around the world, and therefore hadn't been here for this war. 'Another reason as to why he hadn't written to me for months, and never visits me much anymore' I thought. An even when he was there, he seemed so far off. I was very grateful for Vlad being there for me, all the time, day and night. I felt a lot of times that he might be able to read my mind, because he was always two steps ahead of me, like when I wanted to have some water, he brought me some, before I could even get it myself. Vlad was a grand help, and my most beloved friend. I even dared tell him about my abortion, and he was very compassionate, and I felt I had missed him for so many years, that I could hardly get I had not spent more time with him.

He asked me what I would do now, and it quickly sprung to mind that I wanted to move back to Transylvania, back to Vaseria. He smiled at this.

"Homesick, again?" he said.

"Yes, dreadfully," I said.

"I think my father was thinking of taking you back home anyway. He will be pleased," he said.

The thought of enrolling at the Order popped up again, and I decided that this was certain to happen, once I got home, and got well again. I had to move on, and I had to do it alone then. 'I have to start all over… simply,' I thought, before I tried to fall asleep.

**A/N: mwahaahahah! i am happy happy happy! it was PURE _pleasure_ to kill him! oh _my_, i am happy! you should've seen the way i acted when he died!... sorry, mental probs:P... btw, hope you didn't get all too annoyed with my 2 lines of scottish, haha... i just like scottish accentsOo... i think you people out there are satisfies now, you got your death-wish for that _baaad_ Ronan, fella... ahh, well, RR, plz, i beg you! i like, no i am addicted to reviews! euhm, unless it's really bad flamers, them i could do without;)...!**


	14. Chapter XIII

A/N: hellooooo people! yay, i updated! go me, especially, cus i've been sick the last week, and i have been fiddling with all sorts of stuff, and it was just too much to bear inside my head, so my dear readers of this fic had to wait so detestily long: forgive me! now i'll stop the ramble, and if you want a disclaimer, it's on every story with a disclaimer:)

* * *

**Chapter XIII**

I had been thinking that getting back home, back to Transylvania, back to Vaseria, had been my biggest need, but it pulled in my heart for me to join the Knights. No more waiting home for some husband who never came. Surely it was hard to loose Ronan, but the longing to forget that he had ever touched my heart, and as he died, taken that part of my heart away with him, I wanted to forget, and found myself even more attracted to forget the past, to drown it out, somehow. That, and I was missing Vlad dreadfully. And sitting 16 years at some place I Poland alone, playing a nice wife, really made me feel I needed to get out now.

The more I thought of it, the more I got hot on the idea of me joining the knights, hell I had even heard woman started to join, so why shouldn't I? and even though I hadn't thought of it at the time, I was doing this for Vlad, to win him back, if it was so that I had lost him.

"You want to _enrol_?" drawled Cardinal Charram looking sourly at me.

"Yes, father. I've heard of other similar cases-"

"_Special_ cases, miss Cassandra. Not just any woman can _enrol_ because they _think_ that they can wield a sword, but hasn't even the guts to kill a mouse," he said in his roman accent, sounding as though he knew better: sounding as though women were nothing but lovers and housewives, and God how he were wrong.

"Then you do not know me, father," I said with an utmost deference tone.

"Perhaps not, miss Cassandra, but I _do_ know that I can not simply allow you in," he said shortly. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have mass to attend," he said, as if it cleared it all.

He left me in his office to think of other possibilities of getting into the Order.

I knocked on the door to Vlad's room, and was met by a very surprised young man in his twenties, wearing nothing but his underwear, his hair as unruly as a bird's nest and had a "five o'clock"-shadow on his chin. This young man was supposed to look like Vlad, but a minute I was sure this must be his unknown, messy twin brother. He opened his mouth to speak but his words were caught in his throat.

"Hi," I said, purposely sounding pleasantly surprised.

"Cass!" he finally said with a nervous grin, trying to cover himself, but quickly giving up as there would be no way for me to _un_-see him in underwear.

"Cass, I… I expected you here some time… but I also expected that you would send word ahead and uhh," he said as he scratched himself behind his ear and looked at me with a sheepish grin, "And, uhh, warn me," he said, the sheepish grin spreading all over his face.

"Oh… I'm sorry Vlad but I need your help," I said.

He looked at me with a kind of incredulousness: I needed his help!

"Of course, Cass. Please, come in," he gestured for me to get in, and so I did.

"I'm sorry to let you see me like this, Cass, I-"

"I should have sent word ahead, but as it is I'm not quite sorry; it's a rare thing not to see you without your regal façade. It pleases me," I added in a cuddly tone, which I regretted slightly.

A few seconds he stood looking at me, chewing his lip.

"So, what do you need, my dear?" he said in a casual way, quickly pulling black trousers on, and snapping up a white shirt.

It just hit me what I had to ask of him.

"I, uh, I want you to get me into the Order, with or without you by my side," I said, gulping down a knot in my throat.

He was buttoning his shirt and looking down himself when I said this, but stopped and looked up with the most peculiar expression. He swallowed, and sat down, debating something inside his head.

"You want to join _us_?" he asked. "I would have to pull a lot of strings, though… why don't you just ask Charram?" he said, probably already aware of my answer.

"I did," I plummeted down on the bed next to him, "But he declined, saying only special cases were allowed," I added with a heaving sigh.

"Well, that's lucky for us, isn't it, my dear?" he said, pulling on his knee-high's.

"I don't understand," I said curiously.

"Well, you are a special case, my darling, even if he doesn't see it yet, but then we will simply have to make him see that," he said simply, looking at me.

"I'm still not following, Vlad," I said, still confused.

"Well, I find it quite simple. As little respect Charram has for my personality, he knows that he has to stand me as long as soldiers still pledge loyalty to me and therefore has to do me some favours from time to time," he said, taking out some foam smearing it around his chin and jawbone.

"How so? Remember that you can't lie to him about me; he knows who I am," I said, as he started shaving himself.

"What gave you that ridiculous idea that I would ever lie?" he said with a devilish smirk through the foam, which gave quite the impression, and I smiled and looked away.

"Call it intuition," I said smartly.

"Don't worry, darling. By the time I'm back, you will find yourself stationed in the new department for special cases of heroic women," he said, washing his face in the bowl of water on a nearby table.

"Don't flatter me like that. I haven't done anything yet," I said miserably.

"Don't worry, you shall have your chance. But right now, I will have to go stand in line outside Saint Peter," he said, drying his face in a towel.

"Stand in line? For what?" I asked.

"Well, for Charram, of course! I have to reach him before all his actual worshippers come to praise him," he said matter-of-factly. "And now you just sit there and wait on the bed till I get back. Can't wait for my reward," he added ecstatically, kissing my cheek chastely and rushing to the door, wearing a grin.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you talking about!" I exclaimed, but he had already left and closed the door.

I must have fallen asleep, because when Vlad returned, he was shaking me gently.

"It has been done, m'Lady," he drawled as he roused me. "Now how about that reward," he said with a teasing smile.

"Vlad, we hadn't talked about any re-"

"I was only toying with you, my dear," he said.

I couldn't help it. It felt wrong to even think about, when it wasn't even a month ago Ronan was put 6 feet under ground, and I felt like I was betraying his memory, but like it had felt so good, so satisfying all those years ago when Vlad had kissed me for the really first time in the Order's weaponry, it felt so good to make him hold his tongue and to shut him up with a soft lingering kiss, which he hardly dared break.

"I guess I got my reward after all," he said, drawing back, holding me gently in my hand, fixing me with smiling eyes.

"I'm sorry!" I said getting up. "I didn't mean to, it was just that I was confused with all this, loosing Ronan and-" he had gotten up, and placed the tip of his index finger on my lips.

"Don't be foolish, Cass," he said, wrapping his arms around me, kissing the skin on my jawbone. "Don't deny. We are not twenty years any more, my love. I can't wait for ever, and I have been waiting patiently for you," he said, kissing down my neck.

I had to admit that he was right about us not being young anymore. He was 37 or 38 now and I was 35. And further more he was right about waiting: 20 years was a very long time. And now as he was kissing me, pleasuring me with these small romantic kisses, I felt I was honouring Ronan's memory by letting my self go on with my life.

His hand was starting to feel under the blouse on the skin of my stomach and then my back. I noticed that his hands was a little bigger now, which made me smile to myself. It was my turn in feeling his warm caucasian skin, my hand surging around his stomach, cursing through the hair trailing about there.

And the thing popped up in my head that we _really_ weren't youngsters anymore, this wasn't just some flirt that I had to get over and done with. He had loved me for nearly 20 years, and I hadn't even noticed!

All of a sudden, I felt horrible. I had passed him up for so many other _worthless_ causes. It truthfully brought a tear to my eye that I had deceived him so: deceived my heart so. I drew shuddering breaths, which he noticed and stopped to look at me, but I had rushed out the door, willing to be alone in my misery.

"_I don't even _deserve_ him_," I whispered to myself, as I leaned my forehead on the door to the Saint Peter Cathedral.

Instead of entering the Cathedral, I rushed to Charram's office, and asked if he had spoken to Captain Vladislaus Dragulia, and indeed he had. He was sorry that he had not realized before my possibilities with a sword, which of course left me utterly dumbfounded but I played along, nonetheless.

"When can I have a mission, father?" I said. "And where is the women's department?" I added in a still deference tone.

"Dear, child, you will have to go through training first, and you most prove yourself worthy of bearing a mark of the Order. The "women's department"," he said with a grin, "is just below the men's. You will be asserted to your room when you get there. I have already sent word. Good day, my child," he said, as if dismissing me.

"Thank you, father," I said, bowing.

He gestured with a flapping hand and a tolerant smile for me to get out of his office.

As I passed the men's sleeping quarters, and was about to descend another staircase, I heard the calling of my name.

"Cass! Stop, wait!" it was Vlad, and he was running to catch me.

He came over panting.

"I've been looking all over for you. First I was down at the sleeping quarters downstairs, then the cathedral, then back again, then at Charram's insufferable office, back to the cathedral, into my room again, and then I got word from Arno back there that he had seen a woman, with your description, walking past him, very quickly," as he rambled, he counted all the locations on his fingers, as he slowly stopped panting and just looked at me. "Why did you run off? And be honest. Twenty years of friendship deserves that," he said.

"Twenty years of love, you mean?" I said, looking up at him.

"What?" he said.

"I don't deserve you," I said miserably, feeling very dramatic.

"Don't be childish now, darling. I thought we just agreed on that we weren't kids any more. What do you mean; you don't deserve me, hmm?" he said lifting my chin with his finger, looking tenderly into my eyes with his sea blue ones.

"I mean, think of our… of _my_ history! I've deceived you all my life!" I whispered urgently.

His face got a terrible expression, which changed as quickly as it had come.

"You are misunderstanding something here, my love. It is _I_ who don't deserve _you_. I don't care about it. I waited, and it's over now," he said with a pleading expression.

Not with this new realization it wasn't.

"I will end it," he said huskily, pulling me into a small storage room, kissing my greedily on my neck, and what else could I do than submit?

It wasn't a very romantic first time for us, but we had waited about 20 years. He stripped himself of his white shirt with my help and while kissing me with subtle and gentle kisses, he backed me further into the storage room. I put my hands on his stomach, gliding my hands up his chest, feeling his muscles contract and ripple beneath the skin.

He held my face in place with his hands, and I touched his hair for the first time in a little over a decade, but it felt more like a century to me. He pulled my dress up, and stopped. He looked at me with eyes that sought permission, because he would never push me voluntarily again. I granted him permission by pulling up the dress myself. He picked me up with a little victorious smirk and pushed me against a wall, kissing my neck greedily.

I felt a light blush creep into my cheeks when I felt the bulge on his pants, and at the same time felt flattered. He gave me a long fiery kiss, and I suddenly moaned loudly into his mouth without being able to control it: it had happened because of his sudden entrance of me, crossing through the heat in me. He thrust slowly, picking up speed along the way, and I couldn't help but moan his name out in silent gasps, while he nibbled my left earlobe tenderly.

As his speed increased, as did his panting, and reaching my peak, warmth exploded inside of me and I felt momentarily blind; I felt like I was living out the happiest moment in my life; satisfied beyond all borders or boundaries; yet drained and I was already disappointed that that moment had passed so fast; so brief.

I fell against Vlad's chest, feeling wasted in a good way. I uttered a 'thank you' before I gathered myself up and left Vlad with a kiss on his cheek, and he sent me a smile on the way, one I shall never forget: a tired, but satisfied smile and his eyes showing a weird form of admiration, which I only ever saw that one time, but it warmed me and made me smile the rest of my day.

* * *

**A/N: oh, please! R&R! even CONSTRCTIVE flamers are welcome... mark the word CONSTRUCTIVE!**


End file.
